Seriously, I need help.
If I have to repeat to myself one more time that "it is perfectly acceptable to not measure your worth in diamonds/jewllery that someone gives you and that I am worth something even if I don't have X, Y,Z".... I'm going crazy. There is only so much of this I can take. And it's wearing me down.
It might sound weird but I feel like I'm being brainwashed. Every. Day.
It's all about "the rings on the finger", the diamonds", "the nice car", "the expensive house", "the [insert whatever expensive visual thing that people can see], the outside... the thinness... the [whatever else].
Never, never, never about "reading books", thinker*. Never about 'being kind" (It sort of ends up with "I see her going to church every weekend kind of thing.... key phrase: 'see') Focus is always external and measuring. Never inside life. Thoughts. Happyness.
Of course, the thing that made me scared was the discussion that the notion that maybe it would be ok for me to take a man out and pay for dinner since {I know, it's crazy} I make money too? and the comment was along the lines of "any real woman who knew her worth would let the man pay for it**". In short, any man would go out with me if I pay, but would I want to be viewed as such? And really, I'd be getting short changed if I didn't get things....
[enter zombie voice] neeeeed more thingssss....shiny things.... expensive things...
Crazy. That's what I am. Sadly egelitarian... and lost in space. Now, I'm going to go home and avoid commercials and cook my own dinner like a proper woman. And wait for the phone to ring. While I clean the kitchen.... And hope that I don't end up thinking too much about this.
Or I could conform and stop being such a fuzzy about it!***
*ok, sometimes it's phrased as "the smartest person I've met" but very seldom, and always with an additive of 'and their spouse is good looking or something equvalent'
**not always clear what 'it' refers to.... ^^ (and surely women don't like having sex? right? so we need to be coaxed into it? with gifts?)
**It was added after the "worth" comment... "just don't have to be so darn different. Every woman loves diamonds and that they're worth it to a man". Who would 'just' love someone without giving tokens that are expensive? I know, who would?? [sound of head exploding]
5 comments:
This might make you feel like you are not alone http://www.uproxx.com/webculture/2012/01/can-we-just-do-away-with-popping-the-question-please/
Splendid rant! I hope people learn to listen to you :)
change your environment and the problem will be gone. Where do you hear all this cr*p about jewerly and expensive stuff? I was driving old car in LA and was proud of it :) You are richer than them in terms of your FICA score at least :)
Olga
Here at Chateau Wintle we have dealt with this issue by (a) not owning anything expensive, and (b) ignoring most-if-not-all gift-giving occasions (q.v. Valentine's Day, which we gave up on some years ago).
Incurable romantics, us.
Anon one: thanks. I feel sorry for the poor man....
Cath: Yes, I want people to listen to me too! BRAINSsssss ;)
Olga: well, if it only was that simple as changing... alas, I think some of it is in the air almost... but I'm working on it.
Richard: I like those options. I don't own expensive stuff and the gift-giving-occations are more focused on "practical stuff" so far :) (well,maybe not the flowers I mention in the next post but they were cute!)
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