Thursday, May 31, 2012

Fight fire with fire

[and all I really wanted was to post a photo from the awesome weekend vacation.... maybe one at the bottom of this post, as a prize?]

Next time you see or hear (where I work and live I hear a lot of these) any more about Leviticus and the homosexual sinner and damnation just reply to the wonderful [supposedly] Christian person and repeat one of these gems.

I personally love Ez 25:17, but that’s due to other reasons (*cough* RPGs) but Romans 12:19 or Leviticus 19:18 (close proximity of the famous homosexual line) work well. If not, try the Hebrew 10:30, and if they are born again and supposedly loving the “Jesus saves” idea; point them to Matthew 5:38 (after all, it’s before the Matt 18:20 that many protestants/small churches rely on as a faith statement since it points to less need of a ‘educated’ priest but all people can talk to God/Jesus/Holy Spirit)

I am still amazed that there are so many people in this little world who focus so immensely much on others and not on themselves, in terms of behaving “correctly” and “right”. If I was rude, I’d start with just throwing Matt 7:4/Luke 6:42 in their faces. Funny enough they all seem to know John 3:16 so… what’s the problem with this “judging others” and pointing fingers. YOU can’t save others, you can only help others save themselves (by showing that there is a choice… and that FREE choice is on them …. And that you as a person are not judging them….) Similar to the old adage about AA, you can’t help others… they have to want it themselves.

Ah well, off I go to remember yet again that the State Church I grew up in was way more busy with working on installing the Wrath of God and “we as a people have a responsibility towards each other”, than ever telling us to hate the sinners and wreak vengeance on them. After all, aren’t we all supposedly going to be judged on the End of days? You think it would be good for you if you have helped killed some of those ‘sinners’ that Jesus so obviously hung around and tried to show “there is a life with love after this”…. Not to mention, it’s not a “pick and choose game”, it’s about the overall message.

Here endeth today’s lesson :)

[I have to get it out somehow since it is EVERYWHERE in the news and it’s so annoying/scary/frustrating that there aren’t more vocal Christians who talk about what the deal really is; love others as thyself and be a good shepherd of the world. Ring a bell anyone??]

List of qoutes:
Ez 25:17: I will carry out great vengeance on them and punish them in my wrath. Then they will know that I am the LORD, when I take vengeance on them.'"

Romans 12:19: Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

Leviticus 19:18 You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.

Hebrews 10:30 For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.”

Matthew 5:38-39 “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also

Matt 18:20: For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Matt 7:4 :How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? (It’s taken from this longer part, which actually has a pretty harsh attitude about this whole ‘clean your own backyard before messing with others’. Not to mention that all of these “sulfur preaching pastors’ should really worry what will happen to them since they will be treated as they treat others… how about that adultery now? Huh? Matt 7: “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. 6 “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.)

Luke 6:42: How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

John 3:16: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Two bonus ones that paint a clearer picture…
Ezekiel 18:20: The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.

Revelation 21:8 But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

the beach :)

Friday, May 25, 2012

not that kind of doctor

Think Geek

My present to myself for Memorial Weekend! I fell in love with it when I saw it. Not sure my work place will be ok with it... but maybe on a casual Friday? Or just me being me? (after all, it was this or the shirt, which would be more offensive I'm sure.)

Weekend; There will be books, sleep, food, resting, lax time and maybe maybe maybe even a visit to the beach!!! That would be AWESOME! :) Can you tell I am happy about 3 days off???

Tally hooo. I'm off for now. Happy weekend!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

relaxing day - alone time

There is something in that "being alone in your space" that's so different from being "sort of alone" or so... it's not that I want it all the time, just sometimes... very limited. Although, a wise person once said "it's the difference between being alone and lonely; the choice and non-choice".

Like this weekend starting Friday when I went from work to the gym. 2.5 hours later I left to go home, ate some nice dinner-like food and relaxing, some sports on TV while snoozing on the couch before moving into bed and turning off the light without an alarm for Saturday. And when I woke up in my bed without any alarm, the next day - after 8 hours of sleep - I stared at the ceiling for a little while before rolling out of bed, opening the blinds and one of the windows for the air to swoosh in, climbed back into bed, grabbed a book from the night-stand and made both my pillows stick on top of each other, snuggled under the blanket and started to read. Ignorance of time or musts, just me and the book until my belly growled and wanted something in it.

Making the coffee in the machine, while taking a shower, putting on those comfy clothes that no one really sees you in... letting the hair dry on its own, hanging down on the sides of your face, putting lotion on the face and taking deep breaths. Making some sort of brunch (not lunch but way too late for breakfast), grab the coffee and move to the couch... having a movie in the dvr to enjoy. Still no clue about the time, no need to bother about it since there are no musts today - all floats. It's just resting time. Just me. Nothing that has to happen on a specific time or place. After the movie, cleaning up, making the bed, doing some laundry and ending up on the balcony with more coffee and another book (the first one ended before brunch). Hearing the birds sing in the trees... feeling a nice wind, smelling spring (ok, here it's almost summer) and flipping the pages of the book. And all the time just relaxing. Keeping the head away from work thoughts. Avoiding without even thinking about it, the anxiety about the stress that will happen next week with all the deadlines.

Just be in the now. A friend called from home country, chatting for long time about everything between heaven and earth... almost like being there, so close but yet far away. Many reassurenaces that we'll see eachother soon. And after ending the long call, feeling stomach growling. And then, to end the alone resting day, getting picked up for a dinner and some hockey :)

Sometimes the weekends are just amazing. And the head aches are gone...

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

visas.... post doc running out... things change... quickly?

It's been a pretty intense spring so far... Involving a few things at work that not mentionable, some that are. There has been a few deadlines of assays that needed to be "fixed", reports needing to be written (as people wanted them to be) and production snafus that needed "sorting out". And in the middle of that, me - with my little stress heart of "wanting to do the right thing and not really feeling that everyone was doing their best for the team". The last part has been something I've tried to work on, mostly since it means I've spent a lot of time processing the "why not do more?" and "what is really enough?". Well, you can't change other people. First rule, but I always seem to slightly forget that.

Anyhow, last week was a good thing. I got results from another source "proving" my results were accurate. That was good since I've been banging my head against the wall trying to show D and it didn't really happen. Results from other source proved that my results weren't wrong but in fact... we needed some tweaking and a new type of reagent.

Then the "non-me" issue happened. A friend of mine, post doc from another country, really found out that it's too late to renew the visa... the work contract as a post doc is up in the fall time but even if there was an extension, which I sort of thought would happen all alone, that wouldn't help. The visa will only be extended if there is a longer contract. Somewhere in this I should've known. They should've known. I blame not thinking too much about that time three years ago when my visa was up, and my contract wasn't prolonged (at the time in spring, come late August with my paper - a whole other story)... then again, my visa was different since the embassy corrected an earlier mistake and I actually got a visa for longer than my contract. On a side note, it's been pretty scary realising now that it could've been so much worse at that time since then I would've been in their situation.... It was a superstressful time for me even if I wasn't completely thrown out with the water (I wonder if English have that wording; throw the baby out with the bathwater?)

Anyhow, I have such a hard time with this since my friend is not the first, nor I bet the last, to go through this at my place of employment. After all, they knew when they entered the "last year" of postdocing that the visa was going to be an issue.... and they are not even EUcitizens (made it slightly easier for me since I could apply for jobs all over Europe, and certain types of jobs in the US). AFAIK, from my own experience, there are a limited number of jobs to apply for outside of research academia in the US as a non-citizen/non-green card holder... many of the industry jobs I looked at then was limited to "not applicable for non-green card holders" since the companies didn't want to sponsor the green card (or bother to help with the process since the sponsor process isn't all about money but time as well, if the applicant is good enough).

The only thing that I know for sure though, is that since a couple of years it is way easier to apply for a green card as a "visiting researcher" than it was say 10 years ago. It might cost you a fee for applying, $500, and maybe a lawyer fee of up to $4000, but in the end that is not as much money - imho - if you think you are going to stay in the US. That said, I only paid the smaller fee and then I did the GC application on my own (had a few helping things from professional people and a job offer that helped of course). It involved asking x amount of "distinguished professors in the world" for a letter of recommendation (I think I got 6) within three weeks though... It helped immensely (for my self esteem if nothing else) that my former post doc mentor wrote a glowing letter that I never thought I'd see about myself. (Seriously, I'm not used to seeing "bringing novel knowledge to the field" and "being an important part of moving the field forward with her research".) All though, in the bigger picture not untrue, I just don't normally see my papers in that light... and I am in research so, there is a bigger picture there too (the GC was partly into the "important for the research of US in the future" - non of which made less impact on my self image, which wasn't the biggest important person in the world at the time...)

My post doc mentor was important, but the other five were as important (I just got very happy and proud my mentor did that for me, long story). Their letters were equally glowing, as you would expect for an American Immigration audience to read. * I mean this is in a sort of "reality check" point since not only do I come from a place where the Letters of recommendations seldom have words of "excellence" in them but rather toned down and good, but not well... if you know what I mean? By the way, it's sort of tradition back home to add a section of "not so good performance" in the Letters of recommendations since no one is perfect... in America I'm still not convinced this happens?!

Anyhow, this turned to be a bit of sidetrack. I'm still reeling a little from my friend and their future.... and I will try to make the best of my help. But regardless, it leaves a slight tummy feeling that this all "post docing in another country" isn't really all that since you end up at mercy of your post-doc mentor way more than if you were safe in your own country without the harrowing need of a visa to even apply for the future of your career. I'm sure I'm not saying anything people haven't thought about before. And I'm not even sure I should be surprised. What I do know though, is that it is a tough situation to be in (maybe especially if you have no one else around you, i.e. spouse, so you're all  alone with the fears, doubts and scary thoughts?)

I guess I needed to vent since I'm losing a good friend very soon and I had been very good at pushing it away since I thought "it was going to sort out with the extension"?

Friday, May 04, 2012

what I want

I would really like one of these... I think the blue one is nicer than the white, but maybe the white would be better? What do you think?!?

On a side note, it's looking like a bit of a touch week coming up. Dead lines looming. People chasing their tails. "Don't touch" buttons in every room. (well, not really but you know what I mean). It's like a grant submission but really very much worse, "Govermental Agency X do not grant another reschedule" and I do not want to be the "cause for hold up". Hence, I was up and not sleeping at 4 am this morning. Not by choice mind you, but my brain has decided to go into stress mode de luxe :( I have some other thoughts about that but maybe, just maybe it will all be cured with 1h/day at the gym....

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

Planned Parenthood = terroristorganisation.... in Texas... according to Judge and others...

You know, there are things that make me really really angry. And very upset and actually sort of make me consider the first amendment, and the second one too for that matters....  And why I would have to say one HUGE reason I didn't apply for the job in Texas that came up a while back since, well let's be honest, I wouldn't be able to live there. (Granted, the state I live in now has done a fair share of following Texas and making some headlines themselves.... so I'm not grandstanding too much. Not to mention that I am certain that the future will not have me living here forever too much longer .)

In short, the argument that Planned Parenthood (the clinics that are involved in the State's Women's Health Program, i.e. 8 in Texas) is comparable to "First Amendment does not prohibit application of federal material-support statute to individuals who give money to 'humanitarian' activities performed by terrorist organizations". The humanitarian actions would be the 'breast cancer screenings, pap smears, STD testing and birth control'. It gets even better though.

NONE of the PP clinics in Texas, the eight I mentioned, are performing abortions.

Wonderful. Now... these people DO understand that when women die, fall out of work from disease, spread disease to men who sleep with them (who might go to sleep with their wives too... in certain cases I'm sure) there will be an effect on society, right? [Or maybe this will only 'cleanse' society from the less desirable.....]

Or are we all just doomed to hell and therefore really, it's not as bad as if these services were provided?

Sometimes I wonder why the Bible I read isn't what 'they' read. And that my view of 'republican' and 'keeping the government out of my personal life' is so very different from these 'protectors of life and privacy'. But I forgot, I am just a mere woman. I really need to leave all this thinking to the men who govern and in certain cases wear black robes and have a gavel...