Thursday, December 29, 2022

End of 2022 - long live 2022, welcome 2023

I realized yet again how much I've missed writing regularly and also getting the occasional comment. It's been a few years, this blogging format is not as interesting to people as it once were. (Oh the humanity of feeling old when writing sentences like that.)

But rather than write a section on this, I'd settle for writing a two parter - "End of 2022" and "Beginning of 2023" since I noted the other week when talking to a friend that I really need to exhale, inhale and relax. Refocus might be the word. Or just "quiet quitting"? All of the words fit into the idea that the hamster wheel I've been in the last couple of year (let's say since covid started, to make me feel better and not because it is true) and quitting it and making my life a "healthy work-life balance".
Also, I ended up joking about wanting to burn sage and "cleanse the air to move into 2023 without regrets". That's when I really knew I was in the deep end of the pool.
Needless to say, this year has brought its own new experiences to light. And with them, a couple of notions to consider and use for personal growth.
  • What is important
  • What I thought was important
  • What I want to be important moving forward
To no surprise, apart from maybe myself, I've been remiss in my own personal health. As in prioritizing sleep, training and stress management. So that's been a focus the last couple of months. It helped that I had an injury in summer time that made it clear to me how impaired my life would be when/if it would happen due to age. Note to self; "I don't handle not having balance or being able to walk or run that well".

And the reminder when co-workers were offered new opportunities and decided to take them. If nothing else, it makes you evaluate "what is important to me?". Everyone knows that when people leave, especially in the a place where it's not possible to post the position until the person is officially leaving, there is a change in team dynamics and responsibilities. 

It's also a great reminder that you are not stuck in where you are, but as the -sometimes trite - saying goes "you have the ability to change your circumstance". It's nice to be able to turn down offers when deciding what is important and feeling that you got to choose.

And that is mentioning only the most obvious things. There's been other events (smaller in family and larger in world changing) that have affected life and general thoughts on future. Plus the added joy and complexity of family, friends and acquaintances in this world of covid/post-covid/new-normal/new-not-regular-could-we-get-different. (Let's be clear, there are still a lot of resistance to science.)

For this ending of 2022 though, I'd like to be happy that I accomplished a few goals that I set up earlier this year. For the sake of accountability and sharing, I'd make it three.
  • I managed to get my balance back and finished a half-marathon even thought I didn't run the entire 13.1miles (life-joy related).
  • I got a new certification (work related).
  • I continued to give specific% of income to charity and be involved in causes of societal importance, especially with focus to women's health, food security and human rights.
So yes, I would say that 2022 brought a few things to the table to consider for future and immediate future. And I will move into 2023 with a couple of agenda items to execute right away and some to keep on the long-term-to-do-list.

For this post though, Happy End of Year 2022! Let's move into the new year with aspirations, hope and action.

Tuesday, September 13, 2022

"No, not pregnant, just fat" - World Childless Week 2022

It seems like yesterday, to be fair it was only a few weeks ago (again), when I was asked if I was pregnant. It was in context of a book I'd purchased so it wasn't to do with my body shape per se, but it's not the first time I've been asked. Granted, I thought this would be a thing of years past. Since I'm now of an age where I personally don't think anyone should ask if I'm pregnant. (Not that there really is a good time for anyone to ask anyone if their pregnant but still.... )

When people ask nowadays if I have children I choose between answering
a) no
b) no, unfortunately not
c) no, that didn't work out
d) I would've loved to but that didn't happen

depending on the situation. Years ago I would've said "no" and nothing else. 

Possibly, I'm now more tired of the presumption that I'm childless since I chose to be childless which is why option b-d is more likely in conversations. Although that opens up for the comments like "aww, have you thought of IVF?" or "there's so many options of having a family today" or "have you considered adoption?". And depending on my mood, if I'm inclined to answer these - coming from a good place yet not the best to say most of the time- statements.

Then again, I'd be the first to acknowledge the journey this have been and how it's evolved in regards to sadness, denial, agony, helplessness, bitterness, envy, hopelessness, resignation, bargaining, acceptance and other feelings that arise when the world, hope&dreams and you are not in alignment.

If there is anything I would like people to consider and know re this topic? 

That IVF isn't the end all solution to childless people. I know that the feeling of many is that IVF is successful. Yet, there is a lot of people and cases who don't succeed with a live baby in the end of an IVF cycle. And with a lot of people, I mean less than 25% are successful. And that is without factoring in age factors. So, not a panacea for all the childless hoping people.

Regardless of my IVF comment above, main issue for me with childlessness is that it's something that is complex and deeply personal. Also probably something that the average person doesn't talk about too much (even though the percentage of people having children is decreasing) since it is complicated and have a lot of feelings involved.

Anyhooo.... this week is World Childless Week and you can find the program here: