Wednesday, May 27, 2009

silly thoughts

HAHA, I am so not a morning person but I just got the best joke in the world in my head. Watching Charmed. haha. I'm like Phoebe.... sort of.


an no-one will understand..... poor me.*


time to go to work and fix that talk! Wonderful what a little sleep and some messing about with it can do. Thanks for all the support last night. It helped a lot!

*question is, will I still find it funny after coffee?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


Really? Ducks are tied with Red Wings? I guess this would be the impossible solution.... the Leafs are gone... the Canucks lost... and now, the back up are maybe loosing to.... THE DUCKS?!?!? Of all teams in the world, seriously?!?!

I think the world is about to freeze over. At least it feels like that with those signs!

(not to mention the fact that I am wide awake at 1.30 am after trying to sleep and only dream about work... stress indeed... - end of rant. time to try and sleep. although I am a bit hungry too.. hmm.... warm milk maybe?!)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It’s over….

They lost yesterday. It didn’t matter that they were in the lead with 5-4 with 7 mins to go…. Not when Chicago put three more goals in … I guess this means that my love, my hope for this relashiopnship is over. I will move over to the backup. Enjoying the cheating, after all – they are the only ones left… I have to keep the fire somehow, right?!

With that I end up with a few other notes. 1 in 4 of the Swedes cheat* on their significant other with someone at work. 1 in 3 of the Finns. (*actually I think it said 1 in 5 have had sex with someone at work but then they coupled it with how many were in a relashionship at the time). Some pointers to look for;
Spending a lot of time at work with late hours.
Not allowing the SO to join conferences.
Not letting the SO go to work parties anymore.

Anyone else feel like it could be a description of just a life of an average scientist? Long hours, check. Going on conferences where the SO might not have so much fun, check. Work parties? With scientists? Where the SO will have fun. Sure….

Ah well, it is time to go to work and not mope about hockey. Sad day though. I truly think Sundin will quit, maybe that would be the best?! And he and his girl friend (really, what do you call it when both parties are over 25 years of age?) can start their lovely life in LA or wherever they might settle down…. And no, of course not jealous… not at all. Pah. Ridiculous. Who would want to be independently wealthy and have a fan base of a few thousands and be able to do what you want… and done sports for more than 15 years… which you like too…

Then again, I have my lovely bacteria and they will not betray me. Not like the cells did over the weekend when they decided not to grow but rather shrivel up and die. Pah. Bad cells. Now I have to thaw new ones and cuddle with them so they behave and grow.

There was another thought of mine in regards to the hunt for the Nature paper – that it/they wouldn’t keep me warm when I am old. However, it might give me my next job without too much hassle?!?! Not my main concern at the moment though, since I don’t see the C/N/S paper in the future at the moment. Maybe another travel grant though.

With that, I should stop ranting tired rant and go and write that work plan for the new person who gets into lab. And soon it is weekend and I can rest and sleep and get rejuvenated after this set of experiments. Not that you can tell, right? I have a negative on my sleep account for now...

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

positive take on life

I realised after talking to a grad student in tears last week that if nothing else I am quite well off. I don't mean to vent all the time, I am not sad all the time (even if it might seem like an angry and sad post doc in many posts). I just have a slight temper and vent..... 

Anyhow, the conversation with the graduate student made me think about "loosing the innocence" (or growing up as a scientist). I remember the time when I first realised that my professor might not have my interest in his focus.... and I needed to look out for me. And all those conversations with all the post docs (or other PhDs) who have said the same thing - the bitter comments about "the professors thinking about themselves/the committee being harsh and cruel" ... and even if I think all those comments are valid - I can still see that maybe I needed to learn that lesson?! 

I still don't think it has to be cruel and harsh, and the student in question this time got more than a handful, but the "liberation" process may be hurtful. And it is combined with a slightly scary feeling that "you are on your own" and "you are in control of your future".

These last quotes are more sentimental and not really reality, imho. It is true, nothing will happen if you don't try but often enough there are other factors that need to happen too. (For example, a helpful mentor can make things happen that might never happen otherwise. That said, you still need to provide for things to happen.) 

Sometimes it is good to get reminded about those things and not get stuck in bitter mode. After all, that will never lead to be a good place. I hope I could convey some feelings of "get in gear and show them wrong" rather than get bitter and sad and give up. It still stings a little since I am not sure that this way is the best way - I have always thought you can help flying rather than putting iron through cleansing fire.... although some people tend to like the fire. They forget that sometimes the heat is too much and makes the product brittle and useless although it might look nice, where as the small fly actually can handle tough rain storms. (kind of sappy analogy, ok I am not an ancient Greek on this.)

With that, I need to get back into the lab and actually do some experiments!