Anyhow, the conversation with the graduate student made me think about "loosing the innocence" (or growing up as a scientist). I remember the time when I first realised that my professor might not have my interest in his focus.... and I needed to look out for me. And all those conversations with all the post docs (or other PhDs) who have said the same thing - the bitter comments about "the professors thinking about themselves/the committee being harsh and cruel" ... and even if I think all those comments are valid - I can still see that maybe I needed to learn that lesson?!
I still don't think it has to be cruel and harsh, and the student in question this time got more than a handful, but the "liberation" process may be hurtful. And it is combined with a slightly scary feeling that "you are on your own" and "you are in control of your future".
These last quotes are more sentimental and not really reality, imho. It is true, nothing will happen if you don't try but often enough there are other factors that need to happen too. (For example, a helpful mentor can make things happen that might never happen otherwise. That said, you still need to provide for things to happen.)
Sometimes it is good to get reminded about those things and not get stuck in bitter mode. After all, that will never lead to be a good place. I hope I could convey some feelings of "get in gear and show them wrong" rather than get bitter and sad and give up. It still stings a little since I am not sure that this way is the best way - I have always thought you can help flying rather than putting iron through cleansing fire.... although some people tend to like the fire. They forget that sometimes the heat is too much and makes the product brittle and useless although it might look nice, where as the small fly actually can handle tough rain storms. (kind of sappy analogy, ok I am not an ancient Greek on this.)
With that, I need to get back into the lab and actually do some experiments!
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