Sunday, December 21, 2014

12 Days of Christmas: Day 9 - Guilt

Tagging onto the last post about gratitude - the other side of the coin, guilt.

It's a common theme in certain movies and jokes "the jewish mother guilt" - I tend to revamp it to "the Swedish guilt" (not specific to mothers; fathers and siblings are pretty astute to dish it out as well. It's all about "don't think you're special and oh don't worry about me" but it really is.

Then there is the work guilt, you know the whole "oh, so you're leaving for home now - I guess I can do these last few things" guilt. And the "we are so understaffed but we have promised to do this and it would be wasting material and ...." so someone volunteers to do it anyways.

In holiday times there is a greater guilt - we who have vs those who don't - since there is all about the gift giving. Who decorated the house the best. Who has done the most holiday food making. Who is the worst child to their parents. Not to mention the whole "everyone else has X and you couldn't give that to me".

Personally, I have tried really hard this year to feel non-guilty but as I alluded to in a few of these Christmas posts - it's not the best of times around holidays. There is a lot of guilt coming my way from certain directions. (hint hint, nudge nudge) There are the added bonus of the "what have you done this year and what is in store for next year" as a guilt trip extravaganza. Just today, talking to my family, I ended up in that dangerous loop where I apologize for something that I know they want but I haven't given them (yet). Most times I know how to ignore the prompting (crickets) but today I fell head first into the trap. Yep. Thanks for the guilt bashing. I know, "everyone else has X and Y and PQ", and my measly "let's be happy and have gratitude for what we have" kinda fell short of say.... several miles. Ah well, it's just the way it is, right? I'm sure it would've been better if I would've been across the sea, close proximity and all the elves would've given us everything we ever wanted and more. Oh wait. Maybe not.

Anyway, I wanted to wish you all readers out there a happy guiltless holiday! After all, today is Winter Solstice (might be tomorrow) and Festivus. Happy Festivus! Find a pole, put it in the living room, drink some glögg, cherish what you have and enjoy all the silliness around. There are going to be plenty opportunity for the guilt tomorrow or later on.



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