"You're the Good Girl"

There are a few specific phrases that turn my insides to molten lava. The ones that make me see red in front of my eyes in a few short seconds. With age I have sorted out many of these triggers, but it's not surprising that I forget a few. It is good that I have come to be able to take a breath and count to 10 so to speak before reacting.

There are also a few stereotypes bouncing around that mess things up. I've encountered quite a few as an immigrant, not to mention back in the day at university, and back in junior high school. Again, some of these come out to play nowadays too, sometimes to my own surprise...

Like the other week at work when I was enjoying a nice meeting and things moved into more informal mode with giggles and smiles. And then it came, innocent comment when looking at myself and my female coworker, So, you're the good girl and she's the party girl". 

I kept smiling, since I was 99% that the person uttering these comments had no idea the things that went through my mind....

• Good girls are boring
• Good girls are predictable
• One wants to hang out with pretty party girls
• Party girls are good looking, good girls are...well... probably not that good looking since then they would be party girls. [yeah, it makes sense in teen brain, trust me]
• Party girls are good looking but not really bright (it's like the Pet Shop Boys song "I've got brains, you got the looks")
• Good girls are bright (the brains)
• You want to party with the fun girl, you want to marry the good girl- maybe
• and finally [we are not in a bar. do not engage in banter like this. this is work. You wouldn't want to say something too flirty/private/inappropriate] on a loop

Anyhooo.... I couldn't help my words a little bit later in the convo - while the smiles and giggles were abundant - to say "well, since I'm the boring girl I'll repeat that the joy ride is fun until the police stops you". Person who said the original comment didn't lose a second, looked at me and said "I never said boring, I said good girl" and smiled.

At this point I decided to listen to my brain who rushed into over drive to tell itself; "Shut your mouth and you'll get sugar" (Swedish proverb). I just kept on smiling, as per previous comments this year - points to me. So close to start explaining why I'm quite possibly not a good girl*, or at least that I'm not predictable and boring. Then again, I wouldn't have been happy with being called a party girl either. There are some stereotypes coming with both words that I have had some issues with in time so.... Sometimes you just can't win for losing - if you're me at least.

good girl dress

party girl tattoo
[this one isn't real, I am still tempted to make it real though]

I've expanded my shoe wardrobe since I moved to the South,
good and party girls wear boots with dresses

a great band - even for a good girl? [Ghost]

potential crush for a good girl turning party girl in danger zone? [Ghost]

*I'm most likely a good girl. Pay my bills on time, am loyal to my friends. Work too much, keep deadlines. Keep with the law. Don't do bad stuff. Call my parents every week. Send cards to my friends. And bring meals to the sick. It's just that underlying want from being a teen/young adult that I would like to be considered "exciting" or "cool" or "good looking hot stuff" sometimes. Not just the girl who can be relied on and help you with your homework since she's got it all together... Is this what they call a midlife crisis? Reliving the teen angst and want to change it? Am I buying a motor cycle soon and riding to work on it? Dear me. This could get expensive.