Thanks for this! :)

I am long overdue with my posting but I want to post this first. My little (gloomy) heart is warmed and happy about the two links for this, from RESEARCHERS (Dr J and Dr A) and MicrobiologistXX.

It made my day, and frankly quite a good week too. It feels very fun to know that someone reads what I blog here and soon I think it will be more of the science and thoughts and less of the venting (“some of the stuff I don’t like about the lab I’m in”).

And I know that you’re supposed to tag 7 new ones, but all blogs I read has already gotten at least one of these … unless they’re in Swedish which, by obvious reasons, aren’t open to a wider audience.

Tata for now, it’s ELISA time. There is that entry about the elephant in the [science] corner that I promised, as well as a new entry about my [thoughts about my] future. They are on their way… soon…

Seducing boys club

Read about this book today (at YFS and CandidEngineer) and laughed when I realized that it was exactly what I have been prepping for this week. The interested reader would ask; “for what?” and I would look at the wardrobe that I have been enticing for the last couple of days….. low cut tops. Not _that_ low cut, just much more ‘feminine’ than I usually wear in lab.

Why? Well, I have realized that my dear PI and I need to have a chat. You know, like an open one to one conversation about my research and “where this is going”. And maybe more than anything “when is my contract really up and when do you want me out?”.

I’ve been a very nice girl to this point. (Yes, this can be read as “a very meek little scared girl not wanting to upset her bossyboss”) However, I think this would be called “passed the point of what I can deal with” and then comes the action. Or at least the “demands” and not playing the nice post doc but rather admitting that this post doc knows that she has a value and that her VIP PI* would actually need to keep her for awhile since he doesn’t have anyone else who can do the interesting study now... or the post doc can just leave since really- there are limits to what one can put up with.

Of course, this might be a lot of hot air, “a lot of smack” as one can say in this American accent over here …. Then again, I am starting to recognize myself** somewhere in this mess. Due to things I won’t go into my personality has been slightly shoved under a rock for a good period of my time here in the lab, but lately there has been a break through. Something has snapped and is peeking through stating “don’t you remember, you don’t take this but rather DEAL with morons like that quickly before the festering starts”. It feels great, and I just hope that I can catch him in the lab tomorrow since I don't want to wait around for yet another week.

So, I’ve been traipsing around my work place in order to see if I can have a little talk with my boss…. Hopefully I can manage that tomorrow, because if nothing else – I’m getting scared of ruining my nice clothes in lab (no, not wearing much lab coats….) And if nothing else, if it all goes to shit*** I guess I'll deal with that too. I just want to see some of my experiments through but really, I think that the chance of this last alternative happening is kind of slim... he has been dropping hints pointing the other way the last couple of days.

Now I'll leave the lab though. Have to pick out the outfit for tomorrow. Dressed for success, as the say in every movie ;)

*just had to make that abbreviation since that is the hothotair in the air ballon…

**myself = as I was a few years back in a good environment where my personality could and was encouraged to show through.

*** "you have to leave in three weeks, sorry nothing I can do about it.

Mish and mash…match?

Ended up with reading and skimming a lot of articles in the Atlantic yesterday. (It’s called trying to work but failing miserably and realizing that going home and recuperate might be the best way of dealing with occasional sadness due to lots of work, not enough sleep and just the overwhelming feeling of “what on earth will I do soon?”). Ran into this article about settling and making decisions. It was interesting but I don’t really know what to think apart from a little feeling in my tummy thinking “rubbish”. Then again, I am stil in my early 30ies so according to the author this is what I should think…

I ended up going home and having a glass of wine and sleeping for 9 hours so I think it might have been a good plan.

Today has been a fairly good day, even productive in some ways. The paper we (I refuse to say I) submitted in May came back today; minor revisions and then accepted! Yey! That meant a bunch of statements/questions whereas half of them could be answered by saying “it is stated in the test but the result is not in that particular picture since it wasn’t significant” and “nice suggestions, however that particular experiment will take at least 4 months and will not give as much answer to our statement/hypothesis as the time spent”… kind of anyway. But I am sure we can answer them satisfactory and then there will be my first “real” (as in really mine) publication in my post doc.

If nothing else it gave me a good foot to start, I mean continue, writing my second article and get it all together.

Now I’m off for a small celebratory pint of beer. Tomorrow the “thank you emails” to the interview people will be sent. Have to work on them a little more though, more selling and less “thanks for being so nice of meeting with me and spending some time and money on me”… self assured… sure.

England on SALE

SALE SALE SALE SALE.

my gosh, everywhere I look are these SALE signs. What's a poor girl, deprived of her cell phone and computer (read; all outside contact) to do when trying to relax and not think about the job interview yesterday? I know, go shopping!!!

No shoes so far. Good on me. The need for a few new books however can be discussed. As well as that t-shirt with the logo and Union Jack... but they were really nice, the books seemed good for the Atlantic flight tomorrow and there never will be an outofdate for a Union Jack, right?

And then the real strange buy, the nice pinkish/white coat in WOOL.... wit embroyderies on the sleaves... let's just say that I know I will move to colder places and then it will be used. And really, it was 70% of original pricing. And it was NoaNoa... what's a poor girl to do indeed?

And I guess I really shouldn't have gone into the Monsoon store with SALE and 70% off on the door. But the long dress was very flattering in the neckline. And I didn't buy the blue dress at NoaNoa eve nif it looked very good on me,not to mention that that one I could've worn in my present home town at this very warm moment. The long one, not so much... but maybe I am wrong?!

I forced myself to take a look at my bank account and realise exactly HOW MUCH I have spent. shheesh... haven't had a vacation in a long time. Haven't been in the UK in a really long while. Haven't really spent money on things that I will never use (I will use the coat later this fall), and like the clothes I bought before I went here (the so called "in a panicy state of mind before the job interview") these will all be added on to the clothing account for the year and then, all of a sudden, it doesn't look too bad. I can just say that I haven't bought that much clothes this year, nor last one.

And really, there are just that many washed out black tees a woman who wants to try and look professional and 'older' can have.

Some of the clothes does make me cringe on the "frumpy" factor but I think it is all in my head. (It's more correct to say that they are more 'mature' and not jsut tees with nice little logos and statements on. You know, the kind that could be argued to be more "teenager" or soemthing along those lines.) After all, none of the people I have talked to today or yesterday believed me when I said that I was a PhD since more than two years back..... well, the job interview people excluded I guess.Since my youthful apparence is working out, maybe it isn't a bad plan to work the more mature clothes..... time will tell I guess.

Time to go for English Tea and Scones!

Word/sentence of the day

“welcome to join the lab for tea in the afternoon”

I think this trip and interview will be very good for me and my view of science. If nothing else, I might really remember that this Big Institute and my department isn’t necessary how research is done everywhere in the world. That is, it doesn’t have to be rude, harsh and ruthless with a bunch of egos who battle the world and each other with knives in the back and hidden agendas. Then again, that is the way of the world so why not in science?

But I have to say, even if the world might be harsh and science may be ruthless, with tea in the afternoon, all can be handled well.

Tata for now.