As an immigrant in the USA I have a few thoughts on the topic. Granted, I moved "sort of by choice" (there weren't any jobs in my home country and I never expected to stay for this long), so I'm not a refugee. However, when it comes to the discussion about "feeling like a member of my new country" etc, I think my feelings and thoughts are valid since I'm not a full fledged member of the new country disavowing my old country.
First of all, let me state that I do think one of the key things for moving to another country (volunteering or refugee status regardless) is a language thing. I don't think you can ever integrate or assimilate without language. You need the language to share the feelings and thoughts and all the other things with your newfound fellow country people. The language, books and some other things are pivotal to understand and relate to your new people.
Do I view myself as an American? Nope. This was more than clear to me after an awkward conversation with someone whom I love a lot saying to me that I should root for USA in the World Cup of Hockey "since it's my country over a decade" and I'm just blatantly laughing in his face saying "no way, I'm a swede". I'd root for Canada before USA in hockey. Why? Because the idea of rooting for USA in hockey is to me, just not there. I wouldn't call it blasphemy but it's extremely awkward and not my choice. Plus I lived in Canada first, even though it wasn't for a decade, but that's not the point. Mainly, it's the idea that I'm not a real American since I'm not as boasting and encompassing the American spirit*.
Do I view myself as an half American - loyal to the American values? Yep. Absolutely. A lot of the core American values, I share. What do I don't share? I'm not a clear hard core Christian. I'm going to church on a regular basis but on an American faith basis poll, I'd probably fit as a "liberal christian who believes in pro-choice". Not to mention my feminist point of view on a lot of life choices and world views.
I'm also not an American citizen. Let's be clear about this. I'm having a permanent residence card. When I talk about assimilation and integration, there is a lot of sub-context. You can decide if that is influencing, giving my views more or less value or just making it plain subjective. I think I might move home to my native Scandinavian country in my life - in my mind, I haven't left my native country forever. I am not giving up my citizenship, but could tentatively add the American on my present one. Am I proud of living in the USA? Yep. Definitely. Do I love aspects of the country. Yes I do. Do I want to give up my native birth-country? Never. Sorry but I wouldn't do it**.
What have I done and what do I think you need to do to assimilate/integrate into another country where you live?
1) learn the language
2) learn the history of the country
3) get to know some of the native people and talk to them.... hang out....
in reality, I can say what I think is acceptable for me and what I'm doing:
1) celebrate 4th of July - it's a BBQ or a festivity, but it's important as a historic moment
2) try to observe Thanksgiving - it's an important family holiday where you hang out with people, eat and be social
3) Armed Forces - it's a huge thing, need to be supportive of the people from all over the country who signed up and give their lives for the ideals of the country.
4) If possible, sports is an important thing in american (south at least). Pick a team and hang out during at Saturday (college football) or Sunday (NFL football) or any other time when baseball or hockey are playing. It'll go ways to make you feel and be viewed as an American.
5) know the anthem and can sign it - even if you don't keep your hand on the heart while it is playing (I don't since I'm not a citizen but I know the song)
6) read the classics of the country - Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Steinbeck, Steinem, Plath, Kerouac, Haper Lee - that will give you an idea where a lot of the
7) if possible, root for USA in bigger sports arena - like Olympics or World cup or any other bigger sports part
but if I was forced to say ONE thing to keep me assimilated or integrated: language and history or the country. Without that, I don't see how it works.....
*American spirit = influenced with how I viewed USA growing up and all the different aspects that was ascribed to the country. "boasting, vivacious, great, no excuses for themselves, loudmouths" etc whereas a lot of virtue was called for "humble, quiet leadership, responsibility, understatement" and other more British words in context.
**we could make this interesting with some the background of military stuff that i was involved in before leaving my country but hey.... water under the bridge.. i wouldn't give it up since my family/parents are still alive and I would go back to take care of them and that is contingent on my keeping my citizenship and being a native.
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