Is your advice wanted? if not - be quiet

Part of my job involves having assorted information about projects, planning and science (and quite a lot of behaviour and personal knowledge). I also have some experience in the research and industry field that may or may not be good to share at times when trying to decide priorities and goals. However, as everyone who has worked with people know - the issues are seldom with the project but with dealing with the people in the project. 

"The most important part to manage in a projects are the stakeholders aka people involved in the project."* Also "communication, communication, and documentation of communication" 

Even if you know "the best way" or have some suggestions that will improve the project and the ideas and goals, there are times when it feels like you are driving your head into a wall. "They simply won't listen to you, they know the way they want to do it"...

Since it's no fun feeling frustrated with people, having alternative strategies to deal with this is imperative. One of these strategies might be what we call ABC.

When in a situation when you have knowledge the other person doesn't, the questions to ask yourself are:

A - Accept ("will they accept it?")

B - Believe ("will they believe it?")

C - Change ("will it change anything/will they change their approach/attitude?")

If answer is No to these three - our solution is to "Let it go" and don't approach it. It is not the correct time or place to spend time and energy trying to convince them**. You will end up more frustrated and, more importantly, the person will be more frustrated with you (mostly since they will feel that you are hindering them and not playing on their team, and _that_ is so very important).

Of course, I know this. It doesn't mean that I always adhere to it. I'm a quite stubborn woman and at times I stick my chin out and dazzle with my knowledge***. And the people promptly go ignoring it but at least "I said something". There's a time and place for everything.... Now, if I could only be more like a duck...

*edit. As mentioned in the comments - you don't really manage people, you manage things. You lead people. I would say though, as a project manager a lot of what you do it manage communications (thus relationship) between people. But point is mostly - it's more complex than short snippets in a blog post.

**Second comment in regards to being quiet. I agree with the "a drop over time will make a hole in a stone" and changing someone's approach or modify it will take time. Building trust and making small comments and nudge them towards the "better" option. And indeed, that is what I try most of the time. Sometime though, it's good to remember to save the fight for another time.

***tongue in cheek, I voice my suggestions in a reasonable way, targeted to their personality.