I was waiting for the result of the exam I took earlier this spring and found out today that I didn't pass it.
I'm a little annoyed that I failed, but not feeling as bad as I thought. Maybe because I didn't really think I studied enough due to working a lot and not treating it as serious as I should've? And maybe because I think I didn't deserve to pass it. I didn't fail it by much, just a few questions tipping the scale for just outside.... maybe that helps with my feelings about it too? And the fact that last year the passing rate was 38% so I'm in good company with the majority taking the test (this may not be true this year though, the stats aren't out yet).
In any event, I feel better now that I know the result. Recent events in my life have been pointing this out to me very clearly that I can easily stress myself by looking at unknown situations and waiting for answers. I have a tendency to "make up alternative scenarios" - not the best trait all the time. And especially when stressed about a number of things* and then adding the unknowns together, yeah not the best thing.
One of my friends told me today "not to google what I _think_ I saw and heard" at the doctor's office since "I will find out the results when the experts have looked at them and tell me in context". No need for me to get all excited (scared that is) before I know what they think they know. It's not easy being a control freak at times. So, for now, I will move my focus back to work since I don't have to waste energy thinking about the exam nor the re-study since it is 10 more months before I can even apply again..... As for the other stress events, I will know in due time and make my plans accordingly afterwards.
*one of the meetings in a new team went a little south the other week. Partly because of a communication issue, partly because the stress of the deadline looming didn't seem as obvious to some of the members. It's not easy going through the 'storming' phase of a team building in the making.
3 comments:
Soory you didn't pass but sounds like you're dealing well with the result. I also make up scenarios when stressed - particularly worse-case :(
thanks. I'm dealing semi-ok with it. The cost of it still hurts a little, I don't get reimbursed unless I pass and right now it's a $700 thing....
And yes, most of my stress-related scenarios are erally bad, thus stressing me out more. Hopefully I can get over that very soon.
I do the same thing--constantly making up "alternative scenarios" and stressing out in times of uncertainty. It turns out, though, that even when "worse-case scenarios" come through, they're often not as bad as you think.
Sounds like you're dealing well with the test result and not wasting time stewing over it! Good for you!
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