Addiction with (non)trust

I have said before, I have a slight addiction to LMN. Lifetime Movie Network. That and some other shows some people laugh about and consider the viewers romantics saps with decreased mental ability and too much fantasy-romantic-world.

Sure I thought, I’d give it a go. Not watching these shows like Army Wives, Drop Dead Diva or some romcoms... nope. I’d go back to the real shows. The shows that real people watch^. Like Simpsons, Family Guy or wait, maybe CSI and Law&Order. It should probably be noted that I am an old fan of Law&Order since I was a teenager. And CSI (the original set in Vegas) and I were an item during a longer time although we have fallen apart the last couple of years. (Too complicated to keep fixed times when you don’t have a VCR or a DVR or a Tivo. Not at problem nowadays.)

I drift... I ended up with a Law&Order marathon the other night. Not the original L&O, since they have new spin offs nowadays, but the Special Victims Unit. And then some Criminal Intent. The first specializes in sex crimes (many against children and/or exposed people like illegal immigrants), the second is focused on "more serious crimes" or something equal to that. Not the happiest moments of reality or crimes as one might understand.

After a few episodes I was amazed how good a detective I think I would make since I picked out the perpetuator in the beginning... (hm, or maybe I just have seen one too many episodes or read too many thrillers/police novels?) the worst part was when I realized part of how I deducted it all. First rule?

*Never trust anyone.
*People aren’t really nice, at all.
*Everyone is out for themselves.
*Love always have one person loosing. (no, not the one loving less)

And did I mention the “don’t trust anyone?”

Hm. Went to bed with a slightly unsettling feeling in my belly. Feeling more distrusting about people in general (I already have some issues with delegating and trusting other people doing my research and this other stuff didn’t really help on a grander scale of things), more insecure of the world and thinking that maybe no attachments to anything would be the securest way to go in the future. (mental note; don’t form attachments with your research. Or at least not too much.^^)

Then I snuggled with my pillow. Laughed and decided that only one (ok, maybe two) episodes of L&O is allowed henceforth. No overdosing on hate, insecurity and jealousy. And maybe the reality portrayed in the L&O is as concentrated on one angle as the more “romantic sappy” series that I see on the telly?



^ I obviously haven't mentioned the scifi and the discovery addiction but we'll get to that another time.
^^ got a question from a person the other day. “Do you dream about your research?” The answer would be yes. Especially now, under stress. The person laughed and said “I’ve never done that. I just shut off when I leave the building!”.

A few hints..

When you start a new job, if you want to make a more professional impression that is, do not enter your new work place and tell people how they should run things. Especially not loud, nor in front of other people, especially not students. And most especially not if you are…erhm.. .not correct. That is embarrassing, mostly for you. And people might be annoyed with you.

Then again, most people understand this. Then there are people with less people skills. They do not necessarily get this.

And of course, if you are somewhat of a jerk to some people for a few days please do not get surprised if they do not want to help you the next couple of times you "ask for assistance". After all, you were the one stating “why do you do things that way. We never did it that way where I was. This is a stupid way. I don't want to do this this way” and toddled off with a grin, happy you “laid down the law” or however one can put it.

I guess it is an eye opener exactly how annoying it is to hear “we don’t do it like that where I come from” and I should be ashamed for saying it so many times. Something about that glass house and stones from within… then again, nobody’s perfect.

So, with the risk of sounding trite…. Tread lightly the first few weeks in a new environment. Like someone told me, why might be more obvious to some than others, “you have two ears and two eyes but only one mouth – wonder why?”

With that, I rest my case for tonight. I really need to sleep.

change or (/of) routine

It’s no surprise for people in my vicinity that I am not the biggest supporter of change. I don’t think they would say that I am a coward (i.e. not afraid of change) but maybe state that “she likes routine”. Routine does not necessarily mean “predictable”, or so I try tell myself. After all, is there anything worse than to be called “predictable”? (I guess more positive words are reliable or trustworthy.... but still, I get the vibes of “old, traditional and reliable” being the code words for “boring and routine” and we all know that the “daring, unpredictable and brave” person wins the prize in the end of the movie?!)

Ah well, if you wonder which category you end up in, there is nothing to indicate to you if you like change or routine more than to have either new people in the lab (“why do you do things _that_ way. I want to do it like this.”) or try and start a new job.

I have experienced the first one for a couple of months now, it is quite interesting (I could probably write “annoying” or “exhausting” or “eye opening” but I’ll satisfy myself with interesting). The other one is something I probably will experience before the New Year start. (Yes, I am not only apprehensive of change, I am also slightly superstitious and will wait and talk more about changes until they are set slightly more in stone.... but it looks good so far and a normal person would celebrate already. Then again, I am the one more weary of “don’t laugh too early” or whatever it would be as a proverb in English.)

Oh, and if you ever want to test how humble and northern Scandinavian (or Lutheran or “not liking to tote your own horn”) you are, I recommend writing eight or so letters of recommendation for yourself to promote you as an outstanding researcher and excellent person. And to ask the prominent professors you know to sign them of course. Let’s say I score high on the L-scale.... Lucky me that the hype wasn’t all in my head.

the best things in life are free

Being able to snooze in the mornings? worth about 20 mins shorter time with make up.*

Being able to snuggle someone else’s pillow when you snooze in the morning? worth having 15 mins less for breakfast. **

Being able to snuggle someone else’s pillow while snoozing and feel loved***? pricless



[yeah, I know. Pathetic rip off and no, they didn't pay me anything ;)]

* like I really use that much. nope.
** Snoozing is the thing. Every. Day. Always. And snuggle is good for you.
*** Someone else's pillow smells good. And is always more comfy than my own ;)