There's a discussion underway in Sweden that has some similarities in the USA. It's that one about "who is a true citizen" or "who is a real Swede". You see, there will be governmental voting times in Sweden in September so the election speak is ramping up. Like a few other times the debate has been relit in terms of "distinguishing who is really a Swede". If you aren't familiar with the arguments and the issues, a lot of the arguments stem from a wish to distinguish between "Swedish citizens" and "real Swedes" (that would be the ethnicity and sometimes linked to cultural nation).
Some of this stems from one of the now largest parties in the politics, the Swedish Democrats (let's all remember what Hitler's party was called, and what the full name of China is, before you think that the democrat in the name means anything), that have written a few notes about "being Swedish" in their party program. Not only do they distinguish between "real Swedes" and "Swedish citizens", they also introduce the idea that you can be born Swedish and then move away (assimilate to another culture) or express views that aren't correct for Swedes and therefore lose your right to being Swedish.
Why I'm bringing this up here? Not only because I am at risk of falling in this "third category" (after all, I've lived away from Sweden for over a decade), but also because this discussion about citizen, citizenship and "being a true member of the nation" has been present in my life here in the USA for a while.
I do feel like people who have never moved across borders, by free will or due to coercion, don't really understand the restrictions and privilege that exist on citizenship and residency. You see, I know a lot of people who would be quite alright with not becoming a citizen yet staying in a country and integrate and be a productive member of society. However, a lot of rights in a country comes from being a citizen. Not to mention that if you have children, there is a clear advantage of being of same citizenship (especially now when people are placing even more value on the citizenship status). I know that in the USA you swear allegiance to the flag. That's not the case in Sweden. To be quite frank, that is one of the issues in Sweden - very complicated to sort out "what defines us as Swedes" and one of the reasons I think the discussion there is even more into the aryan/blond&blue eye territory...
Anyhow, not to make this a very long rant leading nowhere. My main issues with this "defining who is a real citizen" goes to that the only binary choice here is "are you a citizen or not". Once you start with the "you should have a mom and dad born there and there" or "you are only real if you can trace three generations of the citizens", or "you can't be a member of a Native Indian tribe/Sami nation and be a true American/Swede" it's very obvious that you will end up in the gray zone. When is enough enough? When are you not fitting into the narrative? And who gets to decide that? And what rights fall within the protection of being a true citizen?
All of this was of course much easier when there was an all powerful King or Emperor (or Dictator) ruling the nation. One word of decision, no gray zone since He decided it all. And your rights weren't really that many. Not even your life to be honest. Not many protections in place.
The problem now? That we have decided we like democracy and have moved towards "everyone has equal value and a few base rights called Human Rights" so this view isn't really as comfortable.
However, as many women I've met through the years who were active in the women's movement are quick to repeat, none of these steps forward have been free. And none of these steps forward will stay there unless we are willing to still defend them. We can't step back and say "look, we decided that everyone has human rights, regardless of citizenship so can we leave that now and keep moving forward". I would love to that we could do that, imagine how much we could accomplish. Alas, that is not where we are. We need to keep reminding everyone that "just being human" means that everyone has "human rights". There is no distinction between human 1 and human 2, based on citizenship or religion or political views, not when it comes to these rights.
Especially in the light of a language that is increasingly talking about "being taken over","attacked" and "infested" it's crucial to remember to speak up that Human Rights are not negotiable. Not even for people who have despicable views or threaten us. Why? Mainly because you never know when you will be "on the other side" and then not have any rights. Safeguarding the nation, one human rights at a time. Considering that, the discussion about "being a true good citizen" becomes something much more somber and threatening to all of us.
Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Thursday, June 07, 2018
"it only takes a minute" - does it really?
I hear it quite often, "it only takes a minute, just write them an email". But does it really?
In my job a lot of my time is spent with emails; reading them and writing them. I keep my inbox as a "task list" and mark the emails in a few different categories to keep track of what I need to do, follow up on and so on. In short, I read a lot of emails every day. I also write a lot of emails every day.
Here's the rub. I read a lot of emails that leaves me with "what does the person want [from me]?". When you get one of those emails it goes one of two ways; you read it and then go - I don't know what they mean, and reply back "I'm not sure what you mean, please elaborate", or you just leave it there and think "I'll read it again later and maybe it makes sense". The latter usually means that the email goes to die in the inbox until the person who wrote it follows up, or if that doesn't happen, it will get deleted and never seen again.
Brevity will always (with a few exceptions) be preferred. And then indicates "choosing your words and way of writing carefully". It's hard to do in a short time frame. You get better with practice. And practice takes time.
Before starting this job I was trained in writing proper letters, with salutations and paragraphs and proper endings. I have written memorandums for government and universities, for foreign communications and domestic law disputes. It's been an evolution in how I write emails, and to whom and why. I personally like to have a salutation in the beginning of an email, it probably dates me and it indicates that I view emails as "a letter rather than a text". This is not to say I don't write certain emails as texts
[empty row]
"sounds good."
[end email])
My default setting when writing an email though is
[start email]
"Dear Dr X," or "Hello Anna," or in certain cases when I am ambivalent on which level I should place myself "Hello, "
[keep going in the email].
The meat comes after the salutation (or not). And most times I would like to ask people "what's your purpose of writing the email"? It sounds simple, however when you unfold the idea it can turn quite tricky. Especially (?) in the times when constructing proper sentences and choosing correct words seem to more and more difficult. And this is not even getting into the "quick reply to show that you are on top of your emails" (please consider "what's the purpose of the email" when doing that as well. Quick response isn't always the best response).
If it is writing to someone you don't know, or who might not know exactly who you are but know either your organisation or your lab group, please start with a one lines introducing yourself in context to why you write to them. It shouldn't be too cumbersome or complicated "I work with Dr XX at Institute for awesomeness. I'm writing to you to ask for reagents described in you fab paper in journal of Fantasticness. We have worked on P for quite some time...."
A lot of people don't want to sound too demanding when asking for things, they start adding a couple of disclaimers in their emails. After a few of those, you're confused and it's hard to sort out what it is exactly that the person wants. In these cases I emphasize "be direct and clear without being rude". This is where finesse comes in. You have to know how to use please and thank you, and how to make at least one point about why the intended respondent is important/good/needed/positive word.
Also, adding some sort of time line when asking for something makes the email more likely to be responded to. A lot of things today fall in two categories, right now or later (never). It's the signs of us being so stressed and focused on the chores for today, also called being in a reactive mode. The chance of someone responding to your email, albeit later, increases a lot if you have a time limit in there. Why? Because if there isn't one and someone reads your email after a week, they might decided that "this was too long ago anyway so I am just going to ignore it".
Lastly, review the length of the email. For a lot of people email is not the best way to elaborate and make wordy tropes. If you end up with a long email (say six paragraphs and more than a page long) I would suggest you set up a meeting, type of the idea into bullet points, and then summarize in a memo that can be reviewed. If you have a four paragraph email, let's hope you made each paragraph 2-3 sentences.And whenever you have several things you want to address in one email.... either divvy them up between paragraphs or between emails if possible (too many things in one can lead to confusion), and consider making a bullet point/numbered list. When used properly, bullet points/numbers are efficient to make the text clearer and at the same time keeping short yet feeling spacious.
There are a lot of other things to consider when writing the perfect email, my main idea with this post was to point out that even a short "easy" email might take some time to craft. And that it is always a good idea to reread the email before sending it and ask yourself "is it clear, concise and easy to read?". If not, tweak and repeat.
TLDR: Many emails I read are too long and not precise enough. The chance of your email being received well and answered increases if it is short, precise and polite. This usually takes more than a minute. It will be worth the time to craft a good email.
In my job a lot of my time is spent with emails; reading them and writing them. I keep my inbox as a "task list" and mark the emails in a few different categories to keep track of what I need to do, follow up on and so on. In short, I read a lot of emails every day. I also write a lot of emails every day.
Here's the rub. I read a lot of emails that leaves me with "what does the person want [from me]?". When you get one of those emails it goes one of two ways; you read it and then go - I don't know what they mean, and reply back "I'm not sure what you mean, please elaborate", or you just leave it there and think "I'll read it again later and maybe it makes sense". The latter usually means that the email goes to die in the inbox until the person who wrote it follows up, or if that doesn't happen, it will get deleted and never seen again.
Brevity will always (with a few exceptions) be preferred. And then indicates "choosing your words and way of writing carefully". It's hard to do in a short time frame. You get better with practice. And practice takes time.
Before starting this job I was trained in writing proper letters, with salutations and paragraphs and proper endings. I have written memorandums for government and universities, for foreign communications and domestic law disputes. It's been an evolution in how I write emails, and to whom and why. I personally like to have a salutation in the beginning of an email, it probably dates me and it indicates that I view emails as "a letter rather than a text". This is not to say I don't write certain emails as texts
[empty row]
"sounds good."
[end email])
My default setting when writing an email though is
[start email]
"Dear Dr X," or "Hello Anna," or in certain cases when I am ambivalent on which level I should place myself "Hello, "
[keep going in the email].
The meat comes after the salutation (or not). And most times I would like to ask people "what's your purpose of writing the email"? It sounds simple, however when you unfold the idea it can turn quite tricky. Especially (?) in the times when constructing proper sentences and choosing correct words seem to more and more difficult. And this is not even getting into the "quick reply to show that you are on top of your emails" (please consider "what's the purpose of the email" when doing that as well. Quick response isn't always the best response).
If it is writing to someone you don't know, or who might not know exactly who you are but know either your organisation or your lab group, please start with a one lines introducing yourself in context to why you write to them. It shouldn't be too cumbersome or complicated "I work with Dr XX at Institute for awesomeness. I'm writing to you to ask for reagents described in you fab paper in journal of Fantasticness. We have worked on P for quite some time...."
A lot of people don't want to sound too demanding when asking for things, they start adding a couple of disclaimers in their emails. After a few of those, you're confused and it's hard to sort out what it is exactly that the person wants. In these cases I emphasize "be direct and clear without being rude". This is where finesse comes in. You have to know how to use please and thank you, and how to make at least one point about why the intended respondent is important/good/needed/positive word.
Also, adding some sort of time line when asking for something makes the email more likely to be responded to. A lot of things today fall in two categories, right now or later (never). It's the signs of us being so stressed and focused on the chores for today, also called being in a reactive mode. The chance of someone responding to your email, albeit later, increases a lot if you have a time limit in there. Why? Because if there isn't one and someone reads your email after a week, they might decided that "this was too long ago anyway so I am just going to ignore it".
Lastly, review the length of the email. For a lot of people email is not the best way to elaborate and make wordy tropes. If you end up with a long email (say six paragraphs and more than a page long) I would suggest you set up a meeting, type of the idea into bullet points, and then summarize in a memo that can be reviewed. If you have a four paragraph email, let's hope you made each paragraph 2-3 sentences.And whenever you have several things you want to address in one email.... either divvy them up between paragraphs or between emails if possible (too many things in one can lead to confusion), and consider making a bullet point/numbered list. When used properly, bullet points/numbers are efficient to make the text clearer and at the same time keeping short yet feeling spacious.
There are a lot of other things to consider when writing the perfect email, my main idea with this post was to point out that even a short "easy" email might take some time to craft. And that it is always a good idea to reread the email before sending it and ask yourself "is it clear, concise and easy to read?". If not, tweak and repeat.
TLDR: Many emails I read are too long and not precise enough. The chance of your email being received well and answered increases if it is short, precise and polite. This usually takes more than a minute. It will be worth the time to craft a good email.
Thursday, May 24, 2018
Being offered a 6-figure job
There are times when I marvel at the situation and think, even in the moment, this is going to be an awesome story to tell later! Then there are times when I was too gob smacked to consider anything but to process what was currently happening at that specific moment.
I went looking in my blog to find a story that relates to the one I'm about to tell. Alas, I've forgotten when I wrote it down and didn't find it. If I do, I'll add the link. Anyway, there was a story back in the day when I was fairly new to Southern city. I was going home in the late evening on a Friday and pulled into a gas station in the not-best-part-of-town. Beggars can’t be chosers and when you need gas, it’s late and you live in a place not close to a gas station open at night, you end up in the one that you drive by on the way home. Anyhow, that story ended with me being offered a job as a stripper since I was so exotic looking (yes, I’m very white and I’m not from around here). Statements like "you would make so much more than working as in the hospital" and "you can start tonight!". The follow up that I mentioned to someone who stated I should be offended by the job offer (from the potential colleague stripper) was that I was sort of flattered. Back home, I would not fit the standards of strippers. They have more fit looking bodies. And at the time I had lost a couple of pounds and gotten some muscles so I took it as positive, sort of.
Well, that was many years ago and then last year happened. In Las Vegas. At a casino during a large conference. And yes, there was a few incidents but nothing tops what happened that one night. Private industry party in a penthouse on the Strip. I’m being the plus one, so I’m smiling and being generally polite and attentive. Playing my part, while having very much fun. I find it quite easy to have fun at a free party, with live music, drinks and a view of The Strip in the evening when on vacation. Who wouldn't?! Instead of schmoozing with the important conference people, even a plus one woman needs a break at times, I started chatting with some of the other women present. Granted, I knew before chatting with them that they were working the party and not being the main guests.
Bingo. Did I ever use the phrase correctly. After a little "wow this is a fun party" chatter, I hear them tell me that I would easily get a 6-figure job, like they have. At this time, I will admit, I did a double take since not only was I at least 10 years older*, neither a size 0-4 with 34Cish which they all seemed to be. Yes, exactly. Stereotypical me. Bingo. Working the party. Anyway, trying to save face and not look shocked I laughed and went down a route I've used before; “I’m not exactly a thin model like you are. And I’m old. But it's nice of you to say.” To which they answered sounding very sincere “Honey, Vegas loves every type of woman. You’d easily get that money. And more.”
Cue smiles and going for more drinks - I really didn't want to get into exchanging information to apply or so. Exit party with a smile, such a crazy evening. I’m still processing when we end up in a hotel bar for some chatting and a night cap. Being the polite woman I am, I'll fix some drinks for the others. Walking up to the bartender I decide to go to the bar between two women, who are both engaged in talking to a man each. I think it’s perfect to slide in between them since they are not only women, but not there together and I can order the drinks for the guys at the table. Said and done. All of as sudden one of the women says something snarky and shoves an elbow in my side. I'm about to turn around to ask if I did something to offend her when the other woman leans towards me and says “Honey, don’t take it personally, she is negotiating price for the night and doesn’t want you to compete”.
Huh? What now? This again? Do I look like a lady of the night? My dress isn't short by modern day standards and you can see way less than half of top of my boobs, which makes me one of the most covered women at the casino. I am wearing a pair of 3 inch heels, but really that's it. At this point I’ve decided to just roll with the punches so I smile at both of them and say loudly while pointing at the table where the people I’m picking up drinks for are sitting. "That’s my man over there, and his friends. No worries, I have no interest in anyone else". I grab the drinks and walk back. About halfway to the table it occurs to me that they most likely think I’m like them anyway and I have already secured my "man for the night". Oh well, what's a girl to do?
The morale of the story?
At the evening in question I took it in stride and thought that it was sort of flattering that these women who were very beautiful thought that I would be able to hack it. (Hello comparative body thoughts and other weird things, there is something odd to feel confirmed that you are considered attractive enough. Oh world.) The next day though, and evening when I did a retake of what had happened I got a little less optimistic. Why? Well, to be honest - a lot of the couples I saw in Las Vegas (at the casinos) were lopsided so to speak. It wasn't obvious that a couple were together, they differed not only in age or shape, but also in style. Sure, it can be that people are more open about everything and it is vacation time but I would venture a guess and say that there are probably more "companions" available for a good time in Vegas than elsewhere.
At the evening in question I took it in stride and thought that it was sort of flattering that these women who were very beautiful thought that I would be able to hack it. (Hello comparative body thoughts and other weird things, there is something odd to feel confirmed that you are considered attractive enough. Oh world.) The next day though, and evening when I did a retake of what had happened I got a little less optimistic. Why? Well, to be honest - a lot of the couples I saw in Las Vegas (at the casinos) were lopsided so to speak. It wasn't obvious that a couple were together, they differed not only in age or shape, but also in style. Sure, it can be that people are more open about everything and it is vacation time but I would venture a guess and say that there are probably more "companions" available for a good time in Vegas than elsewhere.
Also, the thing that I normally don't think about as much living in the South - where it isn't unusual that men pick up the check for dinner - I don't think I saw any woman paying for her drinks or food. Always men picking up the tab and waving the credit card. Sure, this could be a coincidence. Or it could be that the man usually pays during vacation? Or any number of other things, like I'm being way too sensitive about the splitting check/paying rounds. And there was a pretty big entertainment fight that had people fly in from all over the continent that might have skewed the set, but still - left a little strange aftertaste. (I know, I think too much).
Lucky for me, I'm almost certain I get to make another observation later this year going there to increase my n or 1 to an n of 2. How's that for science backed conclusions...
Wednesday, April 04, 2018
"I've been to the Mountaintop" - remembering MLK
I first read "I've been to the Mountaintop" I was at university reading famous speeches from around the world. I remember reading it, picking it apart and seeing the tropes and when listening to it hearing where the words were enunciated and clear. It was a good speech, an emotional speech I thought. It must have been something listening to that at the time. It has a lot of references to what had happened during the close years, and a lot of references to the Bible.
Fast forward a decade or so. Me walking through the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis TN, the city I then had moved to, and getting to listen to the speech at the old Lorraine Motel. The museum is inside of the old Lorraine Motel, you get to see the two adjacent rooms where MLK stayed, and you see the wreath outside on the balcony. And wow, the difference in me when I now heard the words, rather than "just reading them back in my safe country". I can't explain it. I will say though, if you ever go to Memphis TN - You have to go to the National Civil Rights Museum! Schedule a day, even if you walk through the museum faster than 3 hours (average) you will most likely need another few hours to decompress, talk and try and grasp the things you've seen, heard and experienced.
The museum walks you through history of the United States, which is the history of Slaves and displacements of so many people. The checkered stories of the South in the USA in particular, the rest of the USA in context, and the world in general.
It's not an easy museum to go through. It takes time. It makes me feel uneasy. It brings up emotions I wasn't really sure of where they came from. Listening to my mother and father talking about their experiences with the 1960ies in Sweden when a lot of this went on in the USA. Talking to, and answering questions from my younger relatives and children of friends, trying to explain how the South could be so different, yet not so different from the North. How different I want it to be now. How some things have changed, and yet some has not.
Reading the eye witness accounts from the 1960ies and the Freedom Marches. Seeing Ross Barnett, then Governor of Mississippi on National TV proudly explaining "no school in Mississippi will be intergrated on my watch". And when James Meredith went of Ole Miss in 1962, after the Fifth Circuit Court had ruled he was to be admitted, there was two body guards with him his entire time at university and a riot broke out the first day - people died and the National Guard was there.
Watching Ernst Withers' collection of photographs on Beale Street with my visitors to my home when we walk downtown is another way of trying to understand, to grasp how and what happened in Memphis - and other places - in the 1960ies, 70ies and how it influences everything around us now today.
"Those who do not remember their history are destined to repeat it"
Listening to Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit" is never easy to me nowadays but it shouldn't be. It should make us all work hard to never forget and never repeat those horrible times. (It's about lynchings. Something much more common even in the 1900 century than I thoughts.)
I'll round this off by quoting the man who died today 50 years ago. The man who spent numerous days in jail writing letters and supporting people all over to march for human rights, and who inspired thousands then and still does. The man for whom church bells will ring at 6pm tonight in Memphis, 39 times will the bells toll. One for each year of his life that was cut too short by someone gunning him down at the Lorraine Motel.
Martin Luther King, Jr died today in 1960 only 39 years old. And we should all wow to ourselves never to give up the fight for equal rights for all human beings.
"That's the question before you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to my job. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.
Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you." [from "To the Mountaintop", the last speech by Martin Luther King, Jr April 3rd 1960]
Fast forward a decade or so. Me walking through the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis TN, the city I then had moved to, and getting to listen to the speech at the old Lorraine Motel. The museum is inside of the old Lorraine Motel, you get to see the two adjacent rooms where MLK stayed, and you see the wreath outside on the balcony. And wow, the difference in me when I now heard the words, rather than "just reading them back in my safe country". I can't explain it. I will say though, if you ever go to Memphis TN - You have to go to the National Civil Rights Museum! Schedule a day, even if you walk through the museum faster than 3 hours (average) you will most likely need another few hours to decompress, talk and try and grasp the things you've seen, heard and experienced.
The museum walks you through history of the United States, which is the history of Slaves and displacements of so many people. The checkered stories of the South in the USA in particular, the rest of the USA in context, and the world in general.
It's not an easy museum to go through. It takes time. It makes me feel uneasy. It brings up emotions I wasn't really sure of where they came from. Listening to my mother and father talking about their experiences with the 1960ies in Sweden when a lot of this went on in the USA. Talking to, and answering questions from my younger relatives and children of friends, trying to explain how the South could be so different, yet not so different from the North. How different I want it to be now. How some things have changed, and yet some has not.
Reading the eye witness accounts from the 1960ies and the Freedom Marches. Seeing Ross Barnett, then Governor of Mississippi on National TV proudly explaining "no school in Mississippi will be intergrated on my watch". And when James Meredith went of Ole Miss in 1962, after the Fifth Circuit Court had ruled he was to be admitted, there was two body guards with him his entire time at university and a riot broke out the first day - people died and the National Guard was there.
Watching Ernst Withers' collection of photographs on Beale Street with my visitors to my home when we walk downtown is another way of trying to understand, to grasp how and what happened in Memphis - and other places - in the 1960ies, 70ies and how it influences everything around us now today.
"Those who do not remember their history are destined to repeat it"
Listening to Billie Holiday's "Strange Fruit" is never easy to me nowadays but it shouldn't be. It should make us all work hard to never forget and never repeat those horrible times. (It's about lynchings. Something much more common even in the 1900 century than I thoughts.)
I'll round this off by quoting the man who died today 50 years ago. The man who spent numerous days in jail writing letters and supporting people all over to march for human rights, and who inspired thousands then and still does. The man for whom church bells will ring at 6pm tonight in Memphis, 39 times will the bells toll. One for each year of his life that was cut too short by someone gunning him down at the Lorraine Motel.
Martin Luther King, Jr died today in 1960 only 39 years old. And we should all wow to ourselves never to give up the fight for equal rights for all human beings.
"That's the question before you tonight. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to my job. Not, "If I stop to help the sanitation workers what will happen to all of the hours that I usually spend in my office every day and every week as a pastor?" The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help the sanitation workers, what will happen to them?" That's the question.
Let us rise up tonight with a greater readiness. Let us stand with a greater determination. And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge to make America what it ought to be. We have an opportunity to make America a better nation. And I want to thank God, once more, for allowing me to be here with you." [from "To the Mountaintop", the last speech by Martin Luther King, Jr April 3rd 1960]
 |
| National Civil Rights Museum (from another march) |
Thursday, March 08, 2018
International Women's Day
So, another year and another International Women's Day. It's not surprising to me anymore when I encounter my coworkers who have no idea what this day is. (It never happened in Sweden, everyone knew about it.) However, there is a feeling in some of my female coworkers and friends this year that I am excited about. It's a feeling that maybe, maybe 2018 will be the year when some more ceilings get shattered, when some more borders will be broken and the goalposts be moved into another area.
It's partly based on the fact that the new generation, the ones who are about to graduate high school are giving people a "the emperor has no clothes on him" moment every so often. They don't understand why there would be a difference between people. Sure, they have grown up with old Disney and lots of hyper sexualized pictures and comics - but they have also grown up in a world where someone can have one mom, or two moms, or two dads or even living with your single dad... not to forget Mulan, Frozen and last year Wonder Woman. If you haven't seen the New Wonder Woman movie - I implore you, go see it. I wasn't interested and such didn't watch it in the movies. I did see it on a plane during a holiday though. And I ended up watching it twice. The battle scene. And the boat scene. And the training with amazons scenes. And ... well, a lot of scenes actually.
And I cried. I know it might sound silly but there is something that moves inside you fundamentally when watching a movie and realizing that it connects to you, and that you don't have to look at the one or two women roles and listen to them talk about their boy friends. Or for that matter, not even have a woman in the movie and you accept it and feel like the main male character. That you watch a movie about a woman who just does what needs to be done, and doesn't care about what "she's supposed to do".
I've shifted a little last year. I conscientiously decided to not watch TVseries that "investigates the crime of a dead girl" or similar. I've been a huge thriller watcher and avid reader of "all the books" but have slowly but surely moved away from these "generic crime books/TV series". Why? Because I think, the same way as I think watching my Facebook feed everyday, connects with my brain and gives me micronegative feelings that aren't helpful for me. I've tried to find uplifting and motivational movies and TVSeries. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to "self help books" but rather stuff that have either strong female leads, or altered realities where things are slightly different than our present day. I read books by women, about women and with women in them that have overcome obstacles and even those who haven't. Just to feel a little more like "this is it".
I digress, as usual.
My hope for 2018 is similar as every year, and I feel that there might be an opportunity here to actually continue to make change, to move towards a more equal society where women aren't generalized into a stereotype automatically (whore/madonna, mother/barren, girl/crone)...
How I intend to do this? Network, be supportive and give money to the right places that can help. I've expanded my network at work and in my field, where we are a few women in similar ages/peers who give each other support and strategy ideas on how to overcome obstacles and to place ourselves in various positions to move ahead. I'm a mentor, both formally and informally, to a couple of younger women who pick my brain about things every so often. I also connect them with others so they can expand their network. And I give money to political campaigns and Choice organizations, mostly locally here where I live. Side bar; If you live in the USA, now's the time to start looking for all those political races for the midterm election coming up. Take a look at your local elections and the issues the candidates are running on and look how you can contribute. If not with money, maybe with time and energy to the various causes.
And finally, last but not least, something that is near and dear to my heart: Doctors Without Borders and Kiva. Two organizations that change the world and try so hard to make it a better place for children, women and men all over the earth. Kiva will match your contributions to women if you make them today March 8th!
You can find practical tips and links to my old posts here
It's partly based on the fact that the new generation, the ones who are about to graduate high school are giving people a "the emperor has no clothes on him" moment every so often. They don't understand why there would be a difference between people. Sure, they have grown up with old Disney and lots of hyper sexualized pictures and comics - but they have also grown up in a world where someone can have one mom, or two moms, or two dads or even living with your single dad... not to forget Mulan, Frozen and last year Wonder Woman. If you haven't seen the New Wonder Woman movie - I implore you, go see it. I wasn't interested and such didn't watch it in the movies. I did see it on a plane during a holiday though. And I ended up watching it twice. The battle scene. And the boat scene. And the training with amazons scenes. And ... well, a lot of scenes actually.
And I cried. I know it might sound silly but there is something that moves inside you fundamentally when watching a movie and realizing that it connects to you, and that you don't have to look at the one or two women roles and listen to them talk about their boy friends. Or for that matter, not even have a woman in the movie and you accept it and feel like the main male character. That you watch a movie about a woman who just does what needs to be done, and doesn't care about what "she's supposed to do".
I've shifted a little last year. I conscientiously decided to not watch TVseries that "investigates the crime of a dead girl" or similar. I've been a huge thriller watcher and avid reader of "all the books" but have slowly but surely moved away from these "generic crime books/TV series". Why? Because I think, the same way as I think watching my Facebook feed everyday, connects with my brain and gives me micronegative feelings that aren't helpful for me. I've tried to find uplifting and motivational movies and TVSeries. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to "self help books" but rather stuff that have either strong female leads, or altered realities where things are slightly different than our present day. I read books by women, about women and with women in them that have overcome obstacles and even those who haven't. Just to feel a little more like "this is it".
I digress, as usual.
My hope for 2018 is similar as every year, and I feel that there might be an opportunity here to actually continue to make change, to move towards a more equal society where women aren't generalized into a stereotype automatically (whore/madonna, mother/barren, girl/crone)...
How I intend to do this? Network, be supportive and give money to the right places that can help. I've expanded my network at work and in my field, where we are a few women in similar ages/peers who give each other support and strategy ideas on how to overcome obstacles and to place ourselves in various positions to move ahead. I'm a mentor, both formally and informally, to a couple of younger women who pick my brain about things every so often. I also connect them with others so they can expand their network. And I give money to political campaigns and Choice organizations, mostly locally here where I live. Side bar; If you live in the USA, now's the time to start looking for all those political races for the midterm election coming up. Take a look at your local elections and the issues the candidates are running on and look how you can contribute. If not with money, maybe with time and energy to the various causes.
And finally, last but not least, something that is near and dear to my heart: Doctors Without Borders and Kiva. Two organizations that change the world and try so hard to make it a better place for children, women and men all over the earth. Kiva will match your contributions to women if you make them today March 8th!
You can find practical tips and links to my old posts here
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