Womanly scientist or just a woman, just a scientist?!

Got the question last week and have been thinking about it on and off during the weekend. “Why don’t you look more ‘womanly’ when you are work?” And “Why don’t you say that you are a real woman as much as you repeat ‘I am not the typical woman”.

Well, the last statement is easier to answer than the first. (I just don’t fit the typical woman box, not when it comes to attitude, interests and work. I do like buying shoes but I can’t be bothered with home decorating. I want to work rather than being a stay at home wife. I like talking about politics and philosophy. I do kickboxing for the fighting skills, not the aerobics. I probably should care more about my exterior side when it comes to make up and hair dos…. I definitely talk too much and voice my opinions in discussions about thing. Und so wieter…)

Both of the questions however, move into the field of “Why would I be interested in being viewed as a woman when I am at work?” (Or even always in society). Will I be treated better/differently if I had more so called womanly clothes and appearance (skirts, low cut tops, high heels, make up)? I have a nagging feeling that I am being blocked by some old references from my past in why I would like to be considered a scientist rather than a female scientist almost every day… on the other hand I do value my personal as a woman, but maybe only as you know me as X and then I am also a woman?! I am not just X – the woman, since that would lead to that diminished look as I tend to find when it comes to other women (real ones) who are good looking and sexy but almost never considered having a brain and be respected for that.

I am scared that the old saying “beauty or brains” is true. Like the PSB song ‘Opportunities’ “You’ve got the looks, I’ve got the brains, let’s make lots of money!” But I’ll admit it; I’d love to be wrong. I’d love to be able to be considered smart and good looking etc…

I guess it might be a slight problem that I’m not sure what is considered to be ‘womanly’ if it isn’t sexy. And that is just sad. Is it really that easy? Woman = boobs and good looks and then the “get taken care of by the strong man” is the following thing?

I really need to have this talk with someone. Any suggestions or thoughts will be most appreciated since I do feel a little confused by this all.

Time for primers...

Larry King Live and Dirty Jobs

Tonighht was one of the best Larry King Live shows for a long while. Not only was Dirty Jobs there with Mike Rowe (?) and his two partners in crime but also a "owl throw up catching"guy ith a degree in biology (of course). So splendid. I mean, after all the guy looked like a kind of particular guy and to add on that he is a scientist and therefore probably a bit odd. (Yepp, since I am one myself I would accept the perception that scientist might be a little odd in the terms of being a slightly bit obssessed with what we do.... )

One of the best things apart from that was when they showed the "cow pots". Pots to grow plants in made of cow poo. Wonderful idea. Biodegradable and fertilizing as well. I really hope they sell so many more after the stint on tv. I have to say I thought it was quite good as a "not using plastic pots made by foreign oil".

Well, end of this since I need to go to bed soon. The transformations seem to have worked a little but I am not jumping with joy until I have pcred at least two of the clones and since they refused to grow in the media today I'll redo it all Monday. No, I am not doing it tomorrow since I am back to "in the lab every 12th hour for at least 8 days" starting Tuesday. I need this Saturday off not to go crazy. Where I come from vacation is a good thing to keep one focused and happy. At least some vacation, like sleeping in weekend mornings.

tata for this time.

courage - proud

This has close to nothing to do with science but I feel happy that this series is translated into English since it has given me so many emotions. Especially this: Courage and refusal

My eyes got a little wet, maybe because I love that silent humbleness with the core of strength and sense of justice. It has a serious discussion waiting to happen though, wht to do with the UN... and in light of the current events in the UK, what to do with the problem of democracy and fighting beliefs that do not necessary care about our [western] view of democracy.

Well, for now I'll be content that the writing is in English and more available for other than Swedish speakers. Furthermore, I'll step out in the summer heat and go to a BBQ, southern style.

ttfn.

second PCR and second primer

...and the second primer worked the first time I used it as well. With the correct temperature too. Wow! I am feeling content and happy now, yet I still believe something is wrong. Or at least it will not work all the way... ah well, I'll skip my [realistic] pessimistic view of it all and try and purify the pcr products tonight so I can run the third [VERY] important pcr tomorrow morning. Actually, I am pondering staying in lab for another four hours and do the pcr tonight but nahh... I should sleep some and then of course it's the dreaded 'being tired and sloppy' which I really don't want to be today! Not when it is working!! (small dance of joy!!)

off to clean the products.


--
update> I stayed (not really surprised) and put a reaction over night. I did, however, elute the purified products into 50 microliters .... I should have remembered that concentration is the key. Tomorrow I'll redo it all and remember to elute into 25 microl maybe? hm, I'll think about it. All of it probably since I didn't gel purify but rather did a quick pcr prep purification. I wonder if that is a big difference, really? Anyone knows?

Experiments at Friday afternoons

The pcr worked! I am so happy with myself since the pcr with the new (correct!!) primers did work the first time. With both the strains. With the higher temperature! Go me. Or something... The only thing that is annoying is that the second (new) primer, i.e. the second primer in the second pair of primer pairs that I need, have not been synthezied yet. The tech mumbled something about ”low yield” or something along those lines when I went down to the facility Wednesday to ask why the third new primer hadn’t been with the other two. Well, hopefully I can have them Monday and if (cross my fingers and wish for everything I hold dear at the moment) the reaction works on Monday I might actually greet my boss back with a happy ”I think I have the mutant”.

This is of course based on the fact that not only the first pcr reaction needs to work but the second one, with the three different fragments and the three different primers need to work when put together. Then the transformation (which I have yet to get to work in the other strains with that other fragment) must work. And then of course the cultivation and examination. But hey, I am going to feel happy for my wonderful band on the TAE gel today since it is Friday and doing an important experiment the last few hours of the day might result in a very distressed post doc for the weekend or, as in this case, a post doc that looks onto next weeks bench work with happy eyes and hope in her heart. This based on the fact that I am not considering the looong time spent trying to amplify the fragment using nonoptimised primers and other smaller things that have made this take way too long time. Not thinking about that now. Actually, it might not be that important since I learned what I did wrong and redid it right. Or so I hope. (knock wood!)

How mushy is this anyway? To be honest though, about the life of a post doc: I still have to go in to work later tonight and tomorrow morning and then tomorrow night and then the morning after... well, you get the picture?! Time points. As can be read about here [shamelessly proud is what I am about it!]. Hopefully that experiment will turn for the better because at the moment those things are looking a little bleak. Ah well, at least I might might have half a mutant ;) Time to go home for running and then dinner before returning to work and donning the protective gear.