Friday, January 15, 2010

good enough...

Last couple of weeks have been a busy time (in my head too). It's been a lot of discussion about "good enough" as in work attitude and what to do about that (to change into "wanting more"). It was something I thought about before, as a post doc, looking at other people and hearing about "just a job for a pay check", while I was on my high and thinking of myself as "living and identifying with my calling and good enough is not where I am, I aim for perfection and end up with something more than good enough". OK, maybe not that arrogant/pious but it has a spark of truth in it.

Maybe more than I want to admit actually.

I found myself volunteering ideas on "how to change people's views on the job", mainly stemming from two sides. Either you start at the grass roots and have a core of very invested people... or start at the top, where the CEO and Directors have to put their face out there and lead by example on how wonderful it is to work hard with an attitude. Or something like that...

And then I got caught up in work politics. I have been trying to avoid sides, to avoid getting stuck in old things between parties, and maybe even playing a tad bit naïve for show. I knew when I started, the naïve/ditsy thing might not be the best way in the long run but for the first half year maybe? Especially if the place is divided into two different groups with a, at first invisible, line. I'm remembering though, how to play the game of politics. I have already started to assemble my "supporters" and trying not to alienate anyone of obvious power (and some less obvious ones). It's not that I don't know the game, it's not even that I don't like playing it; it is simply that I don't like who* I become playing it.

I guess part of my volunteering was realising that deep down in my mind there was a closed room that I would like not to open... although, the door does have a crack in it now. Not really wanting to confront all those questions just yet, since there is a risk that they will turn into an (early?) midlife crisis for this 30+ woman. Time to run for a bit longer...


*I wonder though, it this a place where 'whom' is correct?

5 comments:

The bean-mom said...

Ugh, sounds tricky. Good luck figuring things out.

*I think you were right the first time--"who" is correct!

Maria Abrahamsson said...

dear, you are not the only one thinkning along those lines... And yes, I am working on an e-mail to you, but there are a few more urgent things before that will be finished. Like getting my permanent internet access back... Take care, and don't think too much!

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

Ugh, I hate office politics. Especially in a new job where you don't know the history. I am really bad at this in general, even when I know everyone involved, so a whole new set of politics to try and decipher is. not. fun.

Luckily I have one colleague who's been here for years and knows all the politics and gossip, and she helps to keep me straight! Every organisation has a person like that, and finding out who it is is often your best bet!

biochem belle said...

I like your opening line, the (in my head too) bit. I know that feeling.

I completely understand your feeling, trying to stay out of lab politics. It is so frustrating. I got really caught up in politics of my graduate, and like you, have tried hard to stay out of them in my postdoc lab. I've been here for a year now. I've not been totally successful, but I haven't failed completely either.

*As for the grammatical question, who is the appropriate usage here. At least I'm ~98% sure.

chall said...

thanks for the "who" :)

And yes, to all of you - I am trying to stay away from the office politics a bit still. And it's not really "good enough" problem for me, as much as trying to "solve other's problem with it". That is what I volunteered to try and solve/approach....

but if nothing else, it might be good to go back in the offics politics game since I really tried (and succeeded) in staying away from it as a post doc. No rest for the wicked or something like that. ;)