tired rant

Well, ain't this fucking fantastic? I end up with 2 points in the NFL pool this weekend. TWO! I have NEVER been this bad. I think it would have been easier to pick random and not even given it a sensible thought. I know, I take this a bit too serious but really? 2 lousy points. And last week I was shared first... with 12 points... yeah... pride and fall and all that...sucks.

Then the stuff just came tumbling down starting last week. I know I have said it before but either I need to remove my feelings or people will just have to stop telling me "truths". This chic doesn't want to know. Not now anyway. It's a bit stressful trying to be perfect (family things, friends, worker etc) and I know that I should just keep on walking.... ah well, all will be better on the other side of Christmas, right?!

And I guess the good thing is that I realize how much of my performance anxiety is linked to my former life. Dear gosh, writing papers... yeah, not my thing if I don't get any feed back. Writing in the blind, not so much. Writing summaries and analyzing data, sure I can do that in my sleep.

By the way, if someone writes you an email, please answer their questions if you write back. Don't avoid answering the questions FIVE emails in a row when other stuff are getting asked. I mean, that makes some people nervous, and some people upset. And if you cc someone, let them at least see the first email in the row so they understand what's upsetting.

Ah well, I'll go back doing my chores and not thinking now. Need to finish stuff... and avoid getting nervous about this article stuff. It's not like I am the only one responsible, right... (hollow laugh, real hollow)

It will all be better after Christmas. And next year has promise to be better than this one, that was better than last year that was a thousand times better than the year before that.