Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Title? Honeymoon is over?

I think maybe the honeymoon is over. After short weeks, I am starting to think and wonder... and of course this comes in the middle of the week. Oh what I would give for a wine night with my old friends right now. Just chatting away like we did as graduate students, for hours and hours at a time. Discussing life options, values and dreams. Especially dreams and future plans.
Why do you dream about that? Do you still dream about that? How is this 30-something years crisis going to be resolved.

Do you like your job? Have you been able to find an answer for all those people telling you that "your new job title doesn't sound too impressive" or "huh, imagine that - you traded your post doc to that low a title?" (I never in my wildest dreams remembered people being this focused on the job title. No it is not Director. So sorry. Just something lower than that.) I know, I shouldn't care. Funny thing is that I didn't when I applied for the job. I just thought (yes, probably very naïvely) that it would be so nice with a permanent job where I would learn new things, while using old knowledge and build on my experience, and have a bit of supervisonary responsibility too.

Try something new, that I haven't tried before. And that it wasn't bad that it was in a new line of work - something I haven't done before - something that would open doors into more "secure line of work". Something that would make me more marketable and more versatile in the future. Job market isn't too impressive at the moment in my opinion.

All my thinking before. Now? I'm just a tad bit bummed by all these comments about my less impressive title and the talk that it is sad to see that I sold myself cheap for a permanent job and no research career. And all in less than a month.

Not to mention how disappointed I am in myself for letting them get to me. I hope my brain can start fully functioning very soon and that I can relax once again in the full knowledge that it doesn't (really) matter what people say or state, it's what I feel that is important. Too bad though that some of these people were people I respected and liked... guess it is never too late to re-evaluate people?

9 comments:

Professor in Training said...

If you're happy with your decision to move into industry, those who don't support you can go to hell. And people who aren't actually in industry won't understand what your job title means anyway ... just like those outside of academia think that assistant professors are a type of personal assistant.

JaneB said...

Sympathy - it's really, really hard to stick to your own guns and hold fast to your definition of success when lots of people are saying things that imply that you're wrong. You aren't wrong! Just doing something different, going a different way. Makes you smart in my opinion - looking at how horrible the job market is at the moment, having some permanency, a chance to keep up some skills and develop new ones, all sound like great things to me.

And by the way, one of the Rising Stars of my field, who's just jumped another promotion step on the faculty path, spent a couple of years as a technician on his way - and says it was really worthwhile. It's not like you can neve go back, right?

Tina said...

To hell with em. If you like the job, then you are successful. That is the most important thing.

I know, I know. Sometimes I feel that people look down at me, too. My grad-student colleague has a TT faculty position at Ivy League U while I am Temp. Prof at No Ivy In Site U. People compare. But I like what I do, and I wouldn't want to do what s/he does... so ... to hell with em!

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

I'm sorry all those losers are making you feel bad about your decision. You already know that you shouldn't listen to them, but I already know that it isn't that easy... it will get to you, it would get to me too.

But your reasons for taking the job sound very logical and sensible... I hope you (and the people giving you a hard time) can appreciate that!

This, too, shall pass...

chall said...

You are all so nice.

i think my main reason for annoyment right now is that I don't know if I made the right decision. I feel fairly useless and need to learn a bunch of things/regulations/new stuff and as I've said before - I'm not poster person for change ^^

All in all, I think I am happy with it.
PiT: you have a great point with people outside not knowing "what a title means anyway"
Jane: I would assume I can go back, at least within the next couple of years (especially since I get two more publications next year)
Tina: thanks! it is so true
cath: I know.it¨s just a phase. And it is more those people being scared/disliking my job than "for real".

JaneB said...

Yep, if you're still getting papers, and can demonstrate new skills, you can definitely go back - so you have a year to decide if this IS success for you or not. I reckon 1-3 months is the worst time in a new job - that's always when the novelty has worn off but you aren't actually completely in the swing of things and part of the place yet either.

tideliar said...

For fuck's sake, you've only been in the fucking job for a couple of weeks! What do you want? A full fucking professorship already?

Fuck me. Calm the fuck down and concentrate on not fucking anything up. It will take some time, but what the fuck are you beating yourself up for this time?

microbiologist xx said...

Who the hell are these assholes and why do you even speak to them? They clearly aren't supportive and probably don't know what the hell they are talking about anyway. I recommend dumping these idiots and finding new people to socialize with. Anyone who would make remarks like this doesn't deserve a second thought. Besides most people who feel the need to discredit other people are insecure and they do this to try and make themselves feel better about there own lousy life. You can do better.

JF said...

why are there so many envious people around??? Your title is out of their biz, and you a foreigner got a permanent job in industry when 10.2% official unemployment has just been announced not them! You decided on your path again, they still have to do this. so, concentrate on not screwing up at your new place and let'em go to hell!