Thursday, March 11, 2010

the immigrant

I had a whole post written but then it disappeared.

Anyway, the gist of what I wrote was this.

I hate to beg. I hate being treated like a lesser being. I hate people who take advantage of the lesser beings and therefore does not do their job.

But most of all I hate that some of them change when they are told I am Dr X and work at prestigious place Y and they really like me... (and these people can tell me "you don't look and sound like an immigrant" - really? now, do I want to know what an immigrant looks and sounds like? Most likely not, especially since this is a diverse country. And it is mostly given as a compliment...)

I hate the feeling in me that tells me that if I wasn't white and Dr and backed by some bigger place - I'd be on a plane away from here.

Did I mention I hate feeling vulnerable like that? Like a beggar standing looking around for small tokens. I guess this is one of the things why I always have tried to be self-supported and have a savings account.

But this time, I can't fix it. Only the evil lazy people can. (At least I can pay someone else who might not be as evil, and as lazy, but lucky me that I have money for the extra expenses.) I need to get lazy evil people to fix it. And it needs to be done quick. Guess the frustration?!

That's all for now.

I just don't like people who change demeanour because someone is a doctor or someone is important, or someone just is looking at them when the work. Guess who's still naive and wants to do a good job whenever?

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

But if your were not a Dr and/or didn't have a job/offer in prestigious place then why would they want you?

But you do and you do because you worked hard for it.

Imposter syndrome much?

-antipodean

chall said...

Honestly, I didn't think that far ;) I just got very annoyed that they call me "the immigrant" and treat me like smut.

although, they did say they were sorry a lot today. After I mentioned "hopefully it is right this time since otherwise I get deported" they even blushed.....

Anonymous said...

I thought they called you an alien? I of course get called a filthy cheating antipodean...

-antipodean

chall said...

No, an alien I can laugh at. Being called "that immigrant over there" with a pointed finger in the doctor's office was what made me shocked and annoyed. It sounded so..... rude?!

I get called other names at times, by people I care about though ;)

So sorry about you name calling.... ^^

pika said...

Oh, I so know this feeling - and European countries are no different than US. My biggest pet peeve is when I have to go to a new doctor/dentist. The exchange is usually something like this:

Me: Hi I am [a non-native sounding name], I've an appointment.

They [in a very condescending slow talking-to-a-five-year old manner]: Please fill in this form. Do you need help with native-language-of-this-country? Why are you here?

Me: Thanks, I don't need any help. I am here because of [detailed explanation of what is wrong with me, using proper medical terms in native-language-of-this-country].

They: Oh. [stunned silence] Are you from this country?

Me: No.

They: Are you a doctor?

Me: Well, no, but I am a scientist with a PhD and I work at X university.

They: [finally continue the discussion on a normal level, without treating me like a child or someone who has no clue]

So yeah, I do know the feeling...

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

I'm sorry Chall - I hope you get your immigration issues sorted out soon.

"I hate the feeling in me that tells me that if I wasn't white and Dr and backed by some bigger place - I'd be on a plane away from here."

I take it you're talking about the way the immigration people treated you? Luckily I haven't had this experience with Canadian immigration - but as a white immigrant with English as a first language, I have encountered it from other people in the general population. More than once, someone who I seem to spend a lot of time with but who I wouldn't really call a friend (more a friend of a friend, and part of my core group of friends and their friends) has complained about immigrants when I've been there (in the context of "taking jobs from Canadians" and that kind of thing). When I protested, he said "well, I don't mean you. You're... well, you speak English and you have a PhD". I always think that what he really means is "I don't mean you, you're white".

chall said...

Pika> I recognize that conversation. To be compeletly fair though, I got that back in my native country too... where one doctor in specific was trying to "talk over my head" but since I understood the words he got thrown off the rant and had to realize we were both "doctors"... sort of...

Cath> Most of this rant came from the treatment from the doctor's office actually... and other people apart from the immigration services (maybe because they see the doctor thingy?)

The immigration people have been more or less half and half (exception in Toronto flying into US where they were superrude and hostile, very strange).

Then again, I usually smile and am extremely patient since I know they can deport me within a whim... scare tactics? you bet.

And your last part, that's true for the whole argument about "you don't look like an immigrant". this last time I had half a heart of telling the women "you mean I am as fat as the generic southerner and white?" but since that would be rude and not getting me anywhere I just shut up ^^

microbiologist xx said...

Oh no, no, no. That is absolutely rude and unacceptable.

chall said...

MXX> you mean my last comment in the post about comparing with "Southerners"? ;) yes, that is rude and faulty.

If you meant their behavious, yeah... it's good to know that others think it is rude too...

ScientistMother said...

Yep us immigrant folk are "real" "Insert country". Unfortunately it doesn't matter what country you're in, its always the same. Unless you look and talk like the natives of said country.

I think the southerner US is pretty anti-immigration, specifically from their southern neighbour.

JF said...

I'm an immigrant, so what :) I don't care about this, I care about lifestyle and money in this country. I.e. I want to be treated normally regarding these issues - getting a proper job, salary, etc. If someone calls me immigrant - I do not care. But wait... This did not occur much to me as everybody is. Just do not pay attn. And get a green card! Will you?