It's been a bit of snuffles over at PLS about a post he wrote on post doc positions. I've been thinking a bit about lots of stuff, go figure, and at the moment I am running late for a meeting - but I wanted to scribble down a few thoughts.
First, I wonder if all this isn't part of some kind of "search for happiness". A thought (or belief if you want to call it that) that when you work in a job you thought you want, you will feel perfectly happy. Like "a perfect fit" like all the romantic stories we read.
That TT people, most of them (and most especially the "old" ones) are happy and carefree and not worrying at all. And that is the standard people look for in their post doc or tt-job. And then it's morning and life doesn't really look like that people feel fooled and start crying foul.
I mean, truth be told - how many people do you think are "in perfect control of their lives and not need to suck up to people"? Really? Because I can think of only a few of them (yes, Donald Trump is one) and the rest of us have to please at least 3 people (if not the review committee at NIH in order to get grants) and have days when we need to just do work and get over it.
It's like the idea of facebook (bear with me, I said it was scribble down quick thoughts) where pretty much a tonne of people are putting up their children as their own profile picture (or ultrasound photo). And then the comments flock "wonderful, lovely, how fun for you" etc. Or more of "...got the best job in the world" ... "..got lovely flowers from her perfect husband" etc. It's all a competition to sound like you are perfectly happy and get people to envy you and make you sure of your choices. Confirmation by others for security.
Guess what? I think people forget that most of these things are "for other people to think that all is great". Doesn't mean that things aren't good. No, that's not what I am saying, it's just not perfect.
Same with work. It seems to be some kind of assumption that "post docs are used all the time and all other jobs people are not". Well, I have my own experience of post docing (as can be read in a number of posts here as well as some more in the future). I can say there were times when it sucked, a lot. There was also times where things were absolutely great.*
My point? That "regular jobs" aren't fun all the time either. Somehow though, a lot of people whom I know not in science, don't have an assumption that there jobs are supposed to be all that great - or absolutely fantastic. Many of them regard it as "a job that pays the bill". And they don't dislike it per se, they have other things to do in their spare time.
Scientists, and here I talk about me too, tend to have main focus on their research. Sure, I like extramural activities as much as anyone, but one of those things I have realised after leaving my post doc is how much more time I have on my hands (and I still read papers and try to write a few of them too) than when I was running around in my lab pursuing those leads and thoughts. I guess this means that scientists might think that they should get more money since they "like" the work?
I disgress and move away from the point I was trying to make. I'll try and summerize in short;
maybe there is a disconnect in the feeling of "how wonderful a perfect job should feel and what is reality"?
(not the best summary, but i'm in a hurry.)
*I have issues with post doc positions in general and I will explore these in my next post when I have more time to make it coherent. Let's just say this "I really wonder if it is cost effective to have all these people with a PhD trying hard to get through the post doc and then to the tt track since a lot of them aren't going to make it into tt... and it is harder to explain what type of skills you've gotten as a post doc when looking for other types of jobs. A disconnect is what I am more concerned about... anyway, that's for next time.
14 comments:
I agree! I think our whole society is way too focused on getting "the perfect" job/house/car/husband/family/etc...and if you don't have it, then you should be unhappy.
Now we have a whole population that isn't happy with what they have but think "I'll be happy once I have X".
LOVE the Facebook analogy! I often think how fun it would be if people posted pictures of their everyday lives - sitting on the sofa watching TV, or fighting with their significant other, or having a shitty day. I try to keep that stuff in perspective when on Facebook - knowing that people only post their best.
Alyssa> Thanks. I end up myself thinking along those lines "once I get that, I'll be happy" although lately I have thought that most likely I'll be like the kid with the moon in my lap. Terrified of dropping it and not happier at all ;)
Sometimes I have clearer moments and realise that it's all in what I define as happiness and that [my] life is actually quite good. I should just listen to that voice more often and enjoy it!
[all this is simple for me to say, not so much on living it :) ]
Perhaps another reason scientists feel a need for greater perfection at work is precisely because they often do not have time to develop other hobbies/activities that they care about. For many scientists I know, science is a job, a hobby, and a lifestyle. So when science goes poorly, everything is horrible. And it is especially horrible if the scientist has already made personal life sacrifices in order to pursue a career in science.
But if, however, a scientist also invested time and effort into playing the flute or painting or cooking, then when the scientist's experiments fail, well, she's still a damn good flautist or painter or chef! Maybe the trick to happiness is to not be dependent on any single thing for your source of self-esteem and happiness.
It's just human nature. But I do think, since (most) scientists' lives revolve a bit more around their research, we have a higher expectation than most for our jobs to make us happy. I read a great post earlier today on TTJYEL stating happiness requires contentment; in contrast, a search for *interesting* in our job, life, etc, distracts from this contentment. I toe this line every day...
I was just thinking about other people's jobs. Other people spend time away from work not really thinking about work. And they leave at X time and don't stay later to finish just one more thing. I think that in Science, we just don't do that. We feel we have to devote all our time to it and if we don't, then we're failures. So, then, when our jobs (postdoc, grad student, etc.) are not all rainbows and unicorns we get upset. As in, "if we pour our entire life into Science, doesn't it owe us something?" When, in reality, it doesn't.
I hope this makes sense. I'm running time courses today and am a bit scattered. :)
MH: I agree. I just sometimes think that people think that it's supposed to be all roses... and I agree, maybe mental sanity is to have something outside lab that you are good at/enjoy really much.
dr O: thanks for the link, haven't seen that blog. I agree with what you are saying too.
Amanda: it makes plenty sense. Like the previous two commentors as myself, I agree. And no, science doesn't owe us anything (but we think that... because it would be so much fairer if it did!) ;)
the PhD comic as of 2/15 is sort of a comment to this discussion too... I do feel I need a hobby, but I also think that I don't have time for a hobby because there is soo much science that needs to be done.... :)
And remember, nobody is entirely perfect, and if they try to make you believe it anyway, it probably means they're hiding something. (I mean, really, if you actually were perfect, wouldn't one of things be to not rub it in since you're considerate to other, less lucky, human beings?)
Maybe the trick to happiness is to not be dependent on any single thing for your source of self-esteem and happiness. [Mad Hatter]
I was reading a paper on the impostor syndrome, and this was one of the ways to combat it. Have a hobby that you find challenging, but doable and fun. This way, if your work is sucking, you can go home, do this, and feel better about yourself and realize that you're not stupid or useless or whatever.
It's also a wonderful way to clear your mind, which definitely helps once you go back to the bench/computer/etc.
Maria> Oh, I agree completely. Noone is perfect. It's just that we all (or aleast a lot of us) forget and try and look perfect...
the hobby is hard to find time for. I guess my hobby for the last three years was boxing, to stay fit but also to inprove technieq etc.
Alyssa> that would make sense to me. I guess one of the problems though, apart from finding other things to do, is to be good at many things ;) But I agree completely!
Great post! You made your point very clearly indeed, and I agree. Many TV shows and movies and commercials show us this perfect life we're supposed to aspire to, and reality rarely measures up. It's like the jewelry post you write a few weeks ago.
I'm as guilty as the next person of only posting my "highlights" on Facebook. Mostly because the other stuff is just too tedious to subject other people to! Maybe we should have a "facebook honesty day" where we all post what we're really thinking!
Cath> yes, the jewelry...
I didn't say I don't post things on fb too... (i'm not perfect ;) ) but more likely than not I need to remember this in the back of my head when I read other peoples' statuses and think "huh, I don't have that or that"... and then drift of into "thinking and comparing"
Or I could just stop reading other people's posts :)
I think blog posts are a good complement in my world of "what poeople are thinking about"... although, sometimes I need to remember that some people (no names) post more about the annoying things than the happy things (what? me? naahh..)
Great post!
To me, stay-at-home mom's facebook updates are the worst. I think if I read "I love my life" one more time I might vomit.
I agree about the idealized life with 2.5 children, a dog and a picket fence. It seems as though if you DON'T want these things, or decided to do other things before moving to family life you're some times ridiculed (or at least I am by some of the people mentioned above). I was once told after explaining what I do and why I'm still in school: "I could never be that selfish, I love my family too much and my kids are my life."
How do you respond to these comments without coming across as an ass by bursting their bubble or breaking down in tears because you DO miss the chance of having a life similar to the fictitious one they project to the world?
SB> Isn't it interesting on how certain things are "egoistic" and somethings aren't?
[I mean, I've been told that I am egoistic since I'm not having kids yet - even after I explained that I wasn't ready to have children as a young graduate student with my then SO since we had NO money and I wanted to provide for the child... and finish my degree. I guess the last part is the selfish part since clearly having a child as a poorer student would be less selfish to the child?]
And you can't answer it sicne if you're an Ass they win, and if you cry and miss theri life, they win. Both times, you loose.
and with that last thing, I was mainly meaning that since they have decided that they are in a perfect world you are the loser.
(cynic part of me says, wait til you are 35 and see who of all of them who are still happily married with children; but it doesn't really help that some of the friends will end up as divorcees. It's just one of those things I end up thinking about sometimes.)
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