150 questions

It's been a long time since I've been sitting studying for many days. Honestly, I usually didn't study at night after working 8 hours+ but details details...

What's been very interesting today is that I am vividly remembering this frantic scramming that I'm currently doing. The panicky feeling in my tummy if I fail and don't pass the exam. The "what if I don't pass?"* The ego sadness, the embarrassing feelings, and the panic that I might not make it. After all, it's 150 questions, 7 areas and 62 different topics. All topics will get at least one question.

How to know if you pass or not? Well, that will have to wait another three months. And then I will only find out, pass or fail. No correct answers, no "these are your correct answers". Only a pass/fail and if fail an option to repay money and retake the exam. Rinse and repeat one more time this year and then there will be reapplying (more money and more waiting time).

I don't think I will retake the exam more than three times though. Money and shame. I seriously doubt I'll try three times even.... But I shouldn't think about that right now. Only positive thoughts now! And of course, focusing on those areas and topics and "everything I've ever learned about microbiology and GMP regulations". Off to the books (eh, websites and collected pieces of information)!

*extra fascinating to me since I had pretty good record through uni (and school before that). I know that this "panic mode" always appear when it is enough time to study quite a bit, but too close to study ALL... once I'm even closer to the exam, the calm and the persistent hard core studying and reviewing will take place. The "there is no messing about now, only reviewing everything and make sure some stuff stay in the brain. Let's not waste energy on panicking". Still though, it's been more than 7 years since my last exam (not counting thesis defense since that was in a different league). Now I feel old ;)