in his sleep he turns to her

"He is not very warm these days, more distant, cold... like a former friend I once new. They are slowly turning around, slowly as to not disturb one another and their own space. The wierdness is in the air. Every day she looks for the same thing. Every day she gets rejected. Not openly as in words, but rather the things not said. She longs for the old times when he could look at her and just smile and the warmth of the smile radiated into her and thawed her heart. Made her not so distant, made it possible to love. Picked up the pieces and put together the heart, once broken in so many parts, shattered for the wind. Not any more. The smile is gone from his face. It might be another smile but it is not the same. Not the same warmth, not the same care. Just a smile, with nothing behind it. She longs for the smile, the other one. She longs for feeling his heart towards her own. But nothing like that happens during the day. She waits in vane.

In the night they go to bed. Lay next to eachother. Where they before shared a kiss and a warm good night is now only silence. Nothing is as it once was. And she slowly dies inside. The light goes out. He turns away and yawns. She hears his breathing turn into sleep. Slow, long breaths. And then she stares into the night. Into the dark room. And waits. She hears his body turning, in the sleep. His arms wrap around her. His nose into her hair. She waits for the only moment, when his body gives in to something that his mind will not do. And that is what keeps her heart from breaking. That only moment. In his sleep, he turns to her. Giving her warmth. Seeking her out. Looking for her.

But he still has a ticket out. And he still does not talk about it in the morning. They wake up in silence. Things are not what they once were. Hopefully they will be. The hope still lives in her. For a while. For the next night. For the next time the arms will look for what they once loved. Once promised to love. But inside there is doubt. And the feeling of emptyness. The feeling of a heart too close to breaking. Only this time, there will be no saving. Only lost hope and lonliness.