Thinking about reality and that, with one exception, the [female] post docs in my institute all are single or have a spouse that is a senior post doc [they are juniors]. The male post docs are either single or have a spouse that is a junior post doc, research technician or a stay at home mother.
The situation in the field back home, as I have seen it, was female researchers often happened to be in the spouses’ lab, i.e. the spouse was the professor or senior PI. Or the females were research technicians in lab of their spouse.
All this is generalization, of course. Not reality. And even if it was some kind of reality surely this is mostly due to the research environment, rather than society as much?! Or if it is in society, it is probably most natural and nothing to go against… who am I to preach about something like that?!?
Looking at the relationships that my friends have… All in all I could say there is a slight bigger diversity – although there is only one woman who finished her degree and got a job before her husband, and they met during the same education in uni. Other than that, it is indeed a somewhat bleak picture. Or maybe it is just life.
I would like to know, for real though, if it is due to the women (wanting men to be ‘more’ than themselves so they can learn) or the men (wanting to not threatened by the woman they love)?
Love is indeed something that makes us vulnerable so maybe in order to open up and be a real man, you have to be with someone who you can beat, in education, salary or something… Because she can always be the better mother, emotional icon for your children and social hub as for your friends and families… (All this according to the truth as known by the 50ies…)
Maybe I should just conform and find my place in all this; because boy, am I in the wrong end of the spectra at the moment!
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