Friday, June 05, 2020

know it all - intentional or not?!

"She's so knowledgeable about all these things. I mean, I'm American and I didn't know that DC doesn't have a congress person or a Senator but she did and she's not even from here."

Welcome to "my musings when I take things as a backhanded comment but maybe it really isn't but I had a rough childhood and end up in a defense situation".

Obviously at this time - internal self reflections are a clear sign of something not great. I feel that I should write something about BlackLivesMatters, the protests, the killings by the police, the shooting of teargas, the riots, the looting, the general upheaval of the constitution of the United States of America if the Active military are patrolling or surveilling regular US cities.

However, encountering another one of these comments as written in the first paragraph brought me back to my childhood. The comment this time was voices after we had discussed the current situation in the country and mentioned the yellow paint of BlackLivesMatter on the DC street. And I had seen a video where that street close to the White House was renamed "Black Lives Matter Plaza" 

I had a small smile since I find these things (non violent yet clear statements for the public) very on point and something to point the finger at something that isn't quite right. It's easy to prove when someone is upset about something like this, to object they have to state their case and that means they have to state WHY it's upsetting. Case in point; in Iran the British Embassy was on Bobby Sands street and there was short period time that the Saudi embassy in DC was located on Khashoggi way.

Anyway, this is my long way into a shorter comment that DC is a District of Columbia and doesn't have state hood and not right as the "other states" of the USA (since it isn't a state). I pointed out that there is a person who can talk in the House of Rep but doesn't have a vote, and that they don't have a senator. Briefly touched on the idea that DC wasn't originally planned to have people living there to vote since they were either IN congress or worked FOR a person in congress but in any event they were signed up in their state they represented, and then there were "non persons" who built the White house etc.... (african americans 3/5 of a person deal)

And I understand that this is part of my issue - that I get uncomfortable when people drop those kind of comments since I don't know if it's to point out that I make them uncomfortable, or if I push too much or if it's simply a "wow you know a lot". I know that I automatically say "well, I don't have any kids so I have a lot of time to read" as an excuse.

Part of my time in school as a younger child was a lot about making fun of me for knowing a lot. And I know that I at that time was less smart on how I said things so I probably came off as a know-it-all. However, as a grown up - there are so many times when I've decided not to rock the boat and not offer an explanation or a fact on the topic of discussion. Why? Because it's really not liked a lot of times. And, like when dating or getting a report with people in power at work or networking, it's just best to be a woman with "just enough" brain and wit.

My issues are those times are more obvious when discussing something that might have a more complex background and leading to some faulty conclusion. And when these things arrive - I've made a decision to state my knowledge and see what happens. If nothing else, I can feel ok with having said something, and not argue away. That's not the key point.

However, it would be great to not feel like a freak knowing things that apparently other people don't know. I guess I have to work on how I say things (yet again). Luxury issues - that's what this is. Real issues - outside our windows every day. #blacklivesmatter

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