Just a little place holder since I had hope that I would write something that wasn't a whine... nor an "introspective teen angst" but something scientific and relating to work and leadership and other stuff that relates to work.
Then work and other things happened and my life got very busy and I started back into the gym loop to try and keep the anxiety away. And tonight is Stanley Cup finals first game... after working and getting home by 8.30, and tomorrow is being at work at 7 am... as is Friday. Yeah.
So, in not so long terms; I wrote an application for a new job but before I submitted it (on a Monday). I realised the posting disappeared between Friday and Monday morning (rookie mistake always check before opening and adding a bunch of details and such). I wrote another application and kept my cv up to date in case "that other job" opened up (it didn't). I will apply for the other (third) job very soon since that seems to be the way to go. I found out a not so nice "surprise" about things that matter to me in my present life, thus the three applications. I might be semi happy right now, but in two years? Not as sure....
There has been some others issues on the side lines making trouble. Team work, as usual a little more stressful than teamworkwithroseyglasses (so tiresome sometimes when people are a little naive). Dead lines that are heavy, hard and very close by. Other dead lines, similarly heavy and close by.... but I don't want to be a whiny person, and I've been one the last couple of months due to things. So, it might be better to change something drastically.
If nothing else, looking at it from a distance brings out the obvious problem. I don't really care about money when I look at work and happiness. However, if I'm ending up feeling used since I'm the lowest paid person in my "level" but being asked to do the most "responsible" things, and having great responsibilities with all that it entails ... well, then I will stop since I'm tired of being taken advantaged of. Simple as that. Sometimes that means down grading what you are doing, sometimes it just means not making the extra stuff a priority. And sometimes it means that you have to leave to make a point.
I'll see what happens in the future but for now it's a nice novelty to feel a little more free and not striving to "make everyone happy" since I don't want to feel too used and tricked and fooled.
Here's to just a small incline of disobedience. I'm doing it if you tell me to, but I won't volunteer. That train has sailed (sic!)
2 comments:
"I don't really care about money when I look at work and happiness. However, if I'm ending up feeling used since I'm the lowest paid person in my "level" but being asked to do the most "responsible" things, and having great responsibilities with all that it entails ... well, then I will stop since I'm tired of being taken advantaged of. Simple as that.
I totally understand that. I consider the difference between my current salary and what I'd be making by now if I'd stayed in the private sector my "donation to cancer research"*, but I'd hate to find out that I'm making a much bigger donation than someone who's supposed to be a peer... especially if I was doing more work!
*not 100% serious, but definitely not 100% joking either. It's also a "mental health payment", as I would be much, much less happy than I am now if I'd stayed :)
That's been my reasoning all this time since I'm not driven by money. It's that "doing good" and "contributing to the greater good" - it might sound silly but it is sorta true. I'm still pretty happy where I am, but it's good to get reminded about the bigger picture.
And yes, the "comparing to coworkers" might be petty, yet in Europe it's more common to know your peers' salaries and knowing you are paid properly. Silly American salary 'laws' ....
As a side note, I like the "much, much less" word building :)
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