The seriousness of not being able to defend your PhD, or what others might call “failing” hit me this last week. Mainly because a grad student in a friend’s lab is not going to end on a happy note, with a PhD but rather with a masters… it may or may not be OK for the student but I had a fairly serious conversation the other day with my friend who is concerned. Partly because she knows how this student feels I’m sure, and partly because it is a feeling in the lab that the supervisor dropped the ball a bit… and that is demoralizing for the rest of the lab. Of course, things happen behind curtains that other regular lab people don’t see. Still, it’s a bit unsettling when the lab feeling turns toward the PI, like she’s not part of the lab but “only a lab head thinking about themselves”.
The concern of my friend? That the graduate student seems to be in bad shape, mental shape that is. I tried to relay the little experience I have on the matter, as in the whole “long run and the gruesome last part before the defense” and no one feels particulatly happy in the middle of that stretch. It’s more a matter of surviving and knowing the end is near. But I know that the biggest reason I remained in as good a condition at the time of my writing the thesis and defense was that I knew that I was going to get my coveted PhD. Sure, the system I come from is different, I had a masters going in… but it was still a ratio of “distress vs gain” to be measured. And someone helping me out with cleaning, washing clothes, dinner plans, lunch boxes etc really helped too. (Not that I got that many lunch boxes, but hugs are infallible in making me feel better when I’m stressed and I got a lot of hugs!)
And I guess I put myself in the graduate student’s shoes and thought that no way would I be content with getting a masters at this time. Then again, I wouldn’t have the guts to fight the PI either: not there, and most definitely not after the history that is behind. I guess it is just one of those situations that I end up resenting all the time and wishing that the “system” could be built a bit safer and more secure. The things when I feel like I am little and squashable since I am not in charge and someone else can decide the fate of my life.
Then I remember that I have my PhD. I have power over my own job situation (as long as I forget about the vacation hours dilemma). I’m over the fickle situation with funding money that might be retracted without warning due to some chair yanking money from others to their group, and my life feels a bit better.
Still having a hard time with the graduate student and the potential situation though. I hope they can give her some help or support or hopefully it’ll be better after the thesis is defended and the degree is recived and a new chapter of their life can start. Here’s to hope that a hard situation is the start of something good and new, rather than the end of something bad…
5 comments:
Wow - what an awful situation. I don't think I've ever seen someone fail their PhD outright. Though, in the Canadian system, you don't tend to get a MSc if it doesn't work out.
I have seen people fail their first defense, then come back and do it again 6 months later and pass. That would be scary too.
I have seen many people drop out of the PhD program, but I can think of only one that was really sad about it.
I always consider myself lucky too, I never really wanted to get away from it. Although I did need the hugs ;)
I've never seen anyone in Sweden fail their PhD (although there were rumours that it is possible), but I did recently met someone here in Ireland who decided to go out with a MSc (but that is not really fail in my opinion, as there was no defense at all).
However, this student's situation was particular in that they had their own funding (so they were not on a grant by the supervisor, so there was no pressure on the supervisor to make sure that this student finishes in terms of being responsible towards some granting agency and from what I understood, the supervisor was an established professor, so this student was just one of many). So when the funding run out the student decided that research is not what they want to do and opted for the MSc. Apparenly it was all quite amiable. And I guess this is very different from the situation you describe.
Alyssa: I've only seen one fail their first defense (and that was a VERY odd situation with people getting involved from different places) but never otherwise. THe Swedish system is almost failproof once you are defending in person - but to get there they can cut you off.
Pika: I've seen quite a number of people not being able to finish with thier PhD in Sweden. Granted, most of them found out in year 3 that they didn't have the progress needed and was told to cut their losses at that time (some got a licenciat examen). Then there are a few who just "continued on" even after their supervisor said "no more money" and they so far after 9 years haven't defended, nor completed their studies. I don't know how official it is though?!
It's turning harder the last 9 years with the time constraint and the more alert head of departments... but considering the mandatory (at least where I was) yearly seminar with written notes, I think you tend to kick people out earlier than the day they defend. (I'm on the fence which I think is better, but at least if you have to stop after 2 years you can still get on another project or find a new direction in life. After 5 years and then end up with "nothing", so far the people I've seen are in really bad shape after that.)
Nina: your comment got lost when I uploaded blogger. sorry.
I think like I said to Pika, if you drop out "early" enough, it might be ok in the mind since it is a try and "well it wasn't for me". If it is a longer investment and it doesn't pay off, I've seen people fairly crushed.
I would've been devastated... but that's me. But I didn't think this was a case of "awanting to get away" as much as inadequate mentoring and support from the committe/supervisor. I would think that is where the resentment/anger/feelings stems from?!
And yeah, hugs are remarkable in that way. Happy all around kind of :)
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